


Secret Admirer

by blissfcll



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Amortentia, Ballroom Dancing, Dirty Talk, Draco Malfoy is So Done, F/F, Harry Potter Thinks Draco Malfoy is Up to Something, How Do I Tag, Inspired by Love Simon, Love Letters, Love Simon References, M/M, No Smut, Oblivious Harry Potter, Secret Admirer, Sectumsempra, Self-Harm, Soft Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:15:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 26,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22116220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blissfcll/pseuds/blissfcll
Summary: "Potter! I heard you got a secret admirer!" The voice laughed.He recognised that voice from anywhere. It was Malfoy's.Harry rolled his eyes and turned around so him and Malfoy were facing each other. "What do you want now Malfoy?""Do you know who it is? Any ideas?" Malfoy asked.He looked at Malfoy curiously; why was he showing an interest in this of all things?"Why do you care?"Malfoy scoffed. "I don't."
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Pansy Parkinson, Luna Lovegood/Ginny Weasley
Comments: 96
Kudos: 638





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi i originally wrote this on wattpad like over a year ago but i wanted to try out on ao3!!
> 
> this story is not time based (because i was a dumb ass) but i wrote them to be 18.
> 
> time period can be up for readers interpretation ig.
> 
> wattpad: blissfcll.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: i do not consent to have my work posted on any other site. if you are seeing this fanfiction anywhere but archiveofourown, tumblr (user: qmortentia), or wattpad (user: blissfcll), it has been reposted without my permission.
> 
> enjoy!!

Harry quickly rushed into the Great Hall; ready to eat breakfast with the rest of the Gryffindor Table. All heads whipped around to look at him, making him confused and suspicious.

 _What did I do now?;_ Thought Harry.

Some people were laughing, some people had their mouths wide open in shock, and the rest of them were gossiping.

Ron looked up at Harry's confused and curious face, and looked at Hermione. "Bloody hell.. He has no idea, does he?"

"His face says it all. He really does have no idea." Hermione laughed.

To say that Harry was more than puzzled was an understatement. They were both right; Ron and Hermione, he didn't have a clue what was going on.

"Who's going to tell him?" Asked Ginny.

"Tell me what?" Harry angrily replied.

More laughter surrounded the Gryffindor table.

"Harry, sit down will you? This might be a lot to take in." Hermione giggled.

"Just tell me what's going on, please." He said, getting fed up.

"Someone is drooling over you Harry!" Ron said before breaking into fits of laughter.

Harry sighed, burying his face in his hands. "Please tell me I heard that wrong."

"Nope!" Neville joined in. "They wrote you a love letter as well!"

"Neville!! I wanted to tell him!" Ginny complained sternly.

"Sorry." He replies, even though he knows that he was damn right not sorry.

Harry looked at them both. "Are you guys actually being serious?"

"Yes!" Ron said, snatching the letter from Hermione's hands and handing it to Harry, "See. Read it."

Harry took the letter from Ron and started to read it.

_Dear_

_Harry Potter,_

_I am writing this letter to get my feelings off of my chest. I have been bottling them up for Merlin knows how long, that it has reached the point where I can't take it anymore._

_I like you. Yes, as in I have a crush on you. I doubt it would surprise you or anyone that someone has a crush on you. I mean you're Harry Potter; The Boy Who Won't Fucking Die._

_I have never felt this way around anyone before, and the way it makes me feel when you're around me is driving me crazy. I can't stand it. The feelings aren't mutual, I know that for a fact. You would never ever pay the slightest interest in me. But I felt like I needed to tell you, like I said before, to get it off of my chest._

_Love,_

_Your Secret Admirer._

Harry was shocked; someone liked him? 

"I- I don't even know what to say- wow." He said.

The gryffindor table couldn't stop laughing. He could only just make out some sentences that were being shouted at him.

"His secret admirer made him speechless!"

"I wonder who it is?"

"His secret admirer sounds like the type of person who cries at night when trying to deal with their first crush."

"THAT'S SO CUTE! OMG I HOPE THEY GET TOGETHER!"

"This person is definitely a Hufflepuff, I mean did you guys hear how lovey dovey that letter was?"

 _This is actually the worst_. Thought Harry.

___

"Stop asking me questions!" Harry shouted, "I don't know who they are! I don't know if they're actually serious! They are probably joking! I don't know! Okay? Just stop asking me questions, please!" 

People had been bombarding him with questions all day. 

And the only answer that any of the questions would get would be "I don't know." He was being honest; he didn't even have the slightest clue on who it might be. It confused him a bit. The letter surely had to be a joke. If it wasn't, he would be very surprised.

Did he know this person? Were they friends? Were they even in Harry's year? 

Harry didn't know why, but he couldn't help but feel guilty as he read the letter again. 

"The feelings aren't mutual, I know that for a fact. You would never ever pay the slightest interest in me."

Either this person is someone Harry has never talked to; or someone that he doesn't get along well with.

He was determined to write his secret admirer a letter back. Part of him needed to make sure that this wasn't some sort of joke; which it most likely was.

But how was he going to write a letter back to his admirer if he didn't know who they were?

Surely there had to be a way.

Maybe if he just said to Hedwig, "Send this to my secret admirer" it would work. But if it did work, then that would make no sense.

A familiar voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Potter! I heard you got a secret admirer!" The voice laughed.

He recognised that voice from anywhere. It was Malfoy's.

Harry rolled his eyes and turned around so him and Malfoy were facing each other. "What do you want now Malfoy?"

"Do you know who it is? Any ideas?" Malfoy asked.

He looked at Malfoy curiously; why was he showing an interest in this of all things?

"Why do you care?"

Malfoy scoffed, "I don't."

"Clearly you do." Harry said, "And no I don't know who it is. I don't think they want me to know who they are either because that's why they're called 'Secret admirer'."

Maybe Malfoy knows who it is? 

"Do you have any idea who it might be?" He asked Malfoy.

Malfoy suddenly became hesitant and uncomfortable. "Pfff! No! Of course I don't know who it is!" He laughed nervously. "Don't be so stupid Potter!"

Harry wasn't quite sure of why Malfoy's behaviour changed when he asked that question. Why was Malfoy acting so weird? 

_____

As soon as classes finished for the day, Harry sped up to his room as fast as he could.

He quickly grabbed some parchment and a quill from his pocket, and started to write back to his secret admirer.

_To_

_My Secret Admirer,_

_If I'm being honest, I am quite shocked that someone likes me. I never thought that anyone would actually see me as more than Harry Potter._

_Most of me thinks that this is a joke, or just some sort of game. If so, then you shouldn't go round sending fake love letters to people, it's cruel and it can mess with people's feelings._

_But if this isn't a joke, then I would like to ask you a few questions. If you don't want to answer them that is fine, don't feel as if you need to._

_Do we know each other?_

_Do we get along?_

_Are you in my year?_

_Why do you think that I would never pay an interest in you? You seem sweet from as far as I know. I bet that there's so many things I like about you. You shouldn't doubt yourself._

_Why do you like me? I'm actually very curious about this one._

_I admire your bravery for writing this letter to me, honestly, I can tell it takes a lot of guts, confessing to the person you like, even if they don't know that it's you._

_From,_

_Harry._

He put the letter in an envelope and handed it to Hedwig.

"Send this to my secret admirer, please." Harry said softly.

He hoped that the idea would work.

_____

Harry stayed up all night waiting for a letter back, but it never came.

He knew his idea wouldn't work. It made no sense anyway.

 _What if my idea did work but my secret admirer got scared off?_ Thought Harry.

In the end, Harry gave up and tried to get some sleep.

He smiled to himself knowing that someone liked him for who he was and not because of his name.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Harry woke up to find a letter by his window.

Could it be- No. Surely not.

He opened the letter to figure out that it was from his secret admirer. He was more than surprised that his plan worked.

_Dear Harry,_

_Holy shit. I wasn't expecting you to write a letter back. You didn't have to, by the way, but I appreciate you for doing so._

_I'm surprised that you're shocked that someone likes you. You're an amazing person, Harry. Why wouldn't people like you? And I can assure you that this is not any sort of joke, I honestly do have feelings for you and I needed to get it off of my chest. But I understand why you may think that this is a joke; I would think the same way if someone said that they liked me._

_Yes, we do know each other. I wouldn't say that we talk alot but whenever we do, I can't help but feel so nervous around you. W̶h̶e̶n If you find out who I am, you will most definitely think this is a joke, but I promise you it is not. I can't help the way I feel around you and i'm not that good at showing my emotions._

_"Do we get along?" That's a question for me to know and you to find out. If I answer this question then it will make you have more chance of knowing who I am. I don't want that, i'm not ready for it; it just can't happen. You will truly hate me._

_I am in your year, yes._

_Trust me Harry, I am nowhere near sweet. I have every reason to doubt myself. People hate me, they hate me so much. People wouldn't even bother to look twice at me; let alone be interested in me. Why on earth would anyone be interested in me Harry? And why would you be interested in me? If you find out who I am, you would understand where I'm coming from._

_Did you really just ask why I like you? Harry, you're the most bravest and selfless person I've ever met. People aspire to be like you, Harry. You're just perfect. People look up to you. You've got all the features that every girl and guy wants. You always try your best to help others and so many people appreciate you for it. And plus, your hotness is just a massive bonus. I like you so much Harry. No one has ever made me feel like this, ever._

_It took me a lot of guts to send that letter, I was scared that you wouldn't even read it, or you would rip it apart or something. Well i'm guessing you were the last person to read it, considering nearly the whole school knows. I had to tell you this way because there's no way I could tell you in person. You would most definitely hex me, and probably tell the whole school, or tell your friends, or just try and make my life a living hell. I know for a fact that if I told you in person you would be so disgusted. So this was the only way._

_Love,_

_Your Secret Admirer._

Harry was more than sad for his secret admirer once he read that letter. Why did they think so badly of themselves? Harry was going to do whatever it took to find out who his secret admirer is, and he's going to make sure they no longer doubted themselves.

________

Walking into the great hall, Harry joined his friends for breakfast. 

"Guys... I need some help." He said desperately.

Ron and Hermione both look up at him with concerned eyes.

"You okay Harry?" Hermione questioned.

"Okay so, my secret admirer..." Said Harry, "I need you guys to try and help me find out who it is."

Ron blinked at him. "Have they given you any hints?"

"Yes. We know each other, but i'm not sure if we get along or not." He replied.

"Well that sure is helpful." Ron remarked sarcastically.

Hermione elbowed him. "Ron! At least it's a start! Just let him continue!"

Harry rolled his eyes. "They aren't good at showing their emotions. And they think they're a terrible person, honestly, they won't stop doubting themselves! They think that i'll be disgusted if I find out who they are. They are also in my year. That's all I know."

"You and your secret admirer definitely don't get along, you can just tell." Ron said blankly.

Hermione stopped eating; her mouth wide open in shock. As if no one saw, which they didn't, she turned around slightly to face the Slytherin table and smirked knowingly.

"Well?! Any ideas on who it might be?!" Harry asked with anger.

 _God, he is so fucking oblivious_ ; Hermione thought as she laughed to herself.

Harry gave her an annoyed look. "This isn't funny Hermione! Ron do you know who it might be?"

"Sorry mate, I have no idea." Ron replied.

"How about you Hermione?" Harry asked.

"I don't know either. Sorry." She lied.

Harry sighed.

____

As Harry was nearly running to his lesson that he was late for, he didn't look where he was going, causing him to bump into someone.

"Watch where you're going Potter." Malfoy spat.

Harry clenched his jaw. "Get out of my way Malfoy." 

"No. I would like to ask _you_ a few questions."

Harry didn't know why Malfoy emphasized on the "you" in that statement, but he decided to just ignore it.

"Go on then." Harry groaned.

"Found out who your secret admirer is yet?" Malfoy asked, his eyes shining with what Harry thought was most likely curiosity.

"No.. Ron thinks that we don't get along, but then again.. I'm not sure."

"Why would he think that?"

"I don't know."

Malfoy gulped nervously. "What would you do if it was someone unexpected?"

Harry looked up at him, suddenly intrigued. "Unexpected as in...."

"Someone like me?"

Harry blinked. "That would be disgusting."

Realising that Malfoy went silent, Harry looked at him. His eyes were showing an unknown expression.. was it... sadness? 

"Right. Yeah. Gross. I'm going to class now, i'm already at least five minutes late. Bye Potter." He said quickly as he quickly ran away.

There's something different about Malfoy. He's been acting weird and strange lately. And Harry was determined that he would figure out why.

______

_To_

_My Secret Admirer,_

_Stop. Stop thinking of yourself as a bad person. I know for a fact that you're not, so stop it._

_And by the way, are you friends with Malfoy? The git has been acting so weird lately. I know for a fact he's up to something. If anyone's a bad person, it's him, not you. I hate that git, he's always up to something._

_How has your day been? Mine's been kind of boring if I'm being honest. I think the only good part of my day was the fact that I ate food._

_From,_

_Harry._

_

He had to find out what Malfoy was up to. Malfoy doesn't just act weird for no reason.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic has like 350k views on wattpad and is #1 on drarry and tbh i'm still tryna figure out why 😳😳 anyway here's another chapter that i just edited :)

The past week had been extremely weird for Harry. It's been way more different than usual. It was strange.

Malfoy was still acting suspicious. It felt as if he tried his best to completely avoid Harry at all times. He wouldn't even throw insults anymore. Malfoy has also been looking different lately, for example, his hair was messier, he looked more tired than usual, and he walked around the place with a look of pure sadness showing in his eyes. 

And everyday when Malfoy walked into the great hall for breakfast, it always looked as if.. he had just been.. crying. Malfoy didn't act the same as he did before.

Hermione seemed to go extremely quiet everytime Harry started a conversation about his secret admirer. It was like she knew something about them, or more like she knew who they were. But that can't be true, because Hermione would tell Harry if she figured out, right?

Talking about his secret admirer, he hasn't received a letter from them in ages, ever since he sent that letter complaining about Malfoy. This worried Harry, he couldn't help but think that he did something wrong. He hoped his secret admirer would write to him soon; Harry missed them.

But the thing Harry found the most strangest is when he walked past or was near Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. Whenever he did this, he would swear that he could hear crying. A boy crying. The same boy each night. He knew deep down that he knew the voice from somewhere; but he just couldn't figure out who it could be.

______

Harry quietly stood behind the door of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. The boy's voice was crying again. He could just faintly hear talking; he listened very closely.

"Tell me what's wrong, please," Moaning Myrtle said softly. "I can help you."

The unknown boy sobbed. "You wouldn't understand."

"You come here nearly everyday. I enjoy your company, but not when you're like this. Tell me what's wrong.. I may not understand but I will listen. Just please.."

"Why does everybody hate me so much?" The boy cried. "I've changed I swear Myrtle! Well- I- I mean- I'm trying to-"

Moaning Myrtle cut him off. "They don't hate you, my dear." She said soothingly, "They don't know your story enough to hate you."

Harry stepped forward quietly, hoping that he could get a better view.

The sight shocked him. It truly did shock him. The voice was Malfoy's. Malfoy was the boy that had been constantly crying in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom.

Malfoy had his back facing Harry, and his pale white hands were gripping both sides of the sink.

He was sobbing; full on sobbing.

 _Why? Why does he do this?;_ Thought Harry. _And why do I care?_

Malfoy looked up at the mirror only to figure out that Harry was staring at him over his shoulder.

Moaning Myrtle noticed Harry and immediately protested on his presence. "Please Harry- This isn't a good time right now. Can you please go-"

"No. I need to sort this out." He snapped.

Malfoy wheeled round with his wand held tightly in his hand. Harry also pulled out his wand.

Harry looked at him angrily. "What is it with you lately?" He asked while gritting his teeth. "Why are you acting so suspicious?"

Malfoy stayed silent; trying to hold back his tears, but it was no use.

"Answer me, Malfoy." Harry said as he moved closer, wand pointing at him.

He continued to stay silent, but this time, he didn't even care about holding in his tears. Malfoy was sobbing again.

"You know I hate you, I do." Harry told him. "You're always fucking up to something."

Malfoy raised his shaking hand and threw a hex at Harry, but it missed him by inches.

Luckily, Harry ducked fast; and quickly aimed a hex at Malfoy.

As Malfoy threw another hex at him; Harry threw himself sideways and was just about to jinx Malfoy with Levicorpus until-

"No! Please stop!" Screamed Moaning Myrtle's panicked voice that echoed through the whole room. "STOP!"

But that didn't stop them; they still continued to throw hexes and spells at each other.

Harry remembered something about spells that he read from a book. 'Spells for enemies.'

"SECTUMSEMPRA!" He shouted.

Malfoy collapsed on the bathroom floor instantly, blood pouring from his chest.

Moaning Myrtle let out a horrified scream, "MURDER! HELP! MURDER IN THE BATHROOM!"

Harry gasped sharply, terrified of what he had just done.

"No- No I didn't- I couldn't have-" He said, shocked.

He sank down next to Malfoy; who was sobbing and shaking continuously. Harry grabbed Malfoy's face nervously.

"Malfoy- I- I swear- I didn't mean to-" 

"Oh fuck you." Malfoy spat. "You were meant to do it. I know you were. You wanted to see me in pain. Because I deserve it, don't it Potter?"

"No! Malfoy it was an acciden-" 

Suddenly the door slammed open, revealing Snape walking in with a furious look on his face.

"Potter, leave. Now!" He demanded.

Without a second thought, Harry ran out of Moaning Myrtle's bathroom immediately.

______

After the incident, couldn't stop thinking about what he had done. He didn't want to admit it, but he felt guilty; very guilty.

The sound of tapping against his window made him jump. He turned his head to see Hedwig, she was holding a letter.

 _Oh my god, they finally wrote me back_ ; Harry Thought.

He opened the window quickly and snatched the letter from Hedwig, opening it eagerly.

_Dear Harry,_

_Don't talk about Malfoy like that. You don't even know him for Merlin's sake Harry._

_Love,_

_Your Secret Admirer._

Harry wrote a letter back, his heart beat increasing for some unknown reason.

_To_

_My Secret Admirer,_

_I'm sorry. Is this why you haven't wrote to me in ages? If that's the case, then I am really sorry._

_I'm guessing you're friends with Malfoy then? I was wondering if you could maybe tell him that i'm sorry for what I did earlier today. I did something really bad; I feel so guilty. Just tell him I'm sorry and ask if he's okay? Thank you._

_If I knew that you guys were friends then I would have never talked about him badly._

_From,_

_Harry._

Harry went to sleep that night thinking about Malfoy. And only Malfoy.

______

The next day, Harry was still thinking about yesterday as everyone else in the great hall were peacefully eating their dinner.

Well, except Harry of course. He was too busy staring at Malfoy; his heart aching second by second.

 _I really don't know why i'm starting to care so much, he's probably fine_ ; Thought Harry. _But fuck, I hope he's okay._

Pansy noticed Harry's staring, and with an angry expression on her face, she stopped eating and started to walk over to Harry.

"Potter. We need to talk." She said bitterly.

Harry sighed and rolled his eyes; _what could she possibly want?_

"No we don't." He said quickly. "And I don't want to talk."

Pansy took a deep breath. "No one fucking cares what you want, Potter. You are coming with me!" She exclaimed as she gripped him by his hair and dragged him to the nearest corridor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: this chapter contains descriptions and mentions of self harm. if you are not comfortable/uneasy about the topic then i suggest that you might want to skip this part.
> 
> if you're thinking of suicide or self harm i have provided some hotlines that will help you through with any suicidal thoughts and self harming issues and are here to support you through difficult issues/times!! <3
> 
> childline: 0800 1111
> 
> argentina: +5402234930430
> 
> australia: 131114
> 
> austria: 017133374
> 
> belgium: 106
> 
> bosnia & herzegovina: 080 05 03 05
> 
> botswana: 3911270
> 
> brazil: 188 for the cvv national association
> 
> canada: 5147234000 (montreal) and 18662773553 (outside Montreal). or text "HOME" to 686868 for a councillor to connect/respond in less than five minutes.
> 
> croatia: 014833888
> 
> denmark: +4570201201
> 
> egypt: 7621602
> 
> estonia: 3726558088; in russian 3726555688
> 
> finland: 010 195 202
> 
> france: 0145394000
> 
> germany: 08001810771
> 
> holland: 09000767
> 
> hong kong: +852 2382 0000
> 
> hungary: 116123
> 
> india: 8888817666
> 
> ireland: +4408457909090
> 
> italy: 800860022
> 
> japan: +810352869090
> 
> mexico: 5255102550
> 
> new zealand: 0800543354
> 
> norway: +4781533300
> 
> philippines: 028969191
> 
> poland: 5270000
> 
> russia: 0078202577577
> 
> spain: 914590050
> 
> south africa: 0514445691
> 
> sweden: 46317112400
> 
> switzerland: 143
> 
> united kingdom: 08457909090
> 
> usa : 18002738255
> 
> stay safe guys!! love you!!!

"What the fuck is wrong with you Potter?" Pansy asked while gritting her teeth.

Harry looked at her; confused. "What?"

"You used fucking sectumsempra on him! SECTUMSEMPRA!" She raged.

"He told you?"

"He walked into the slytherin common room crying, Potter. I had to force it out of him, he was a mess."

Harry sighed. "I'm sorry."

"No you're not." Pansy huffed. "Why do you hate him so much?"

"Well...." Harry paused; he couldn't think of a valid yet sensible answer. 

"Today preferably." She said.

"Because he's an annoying git."

"That's not a reason to hate someone!" Pansy shouted. "Blaise is an annoying git, yet you don't see me hating him and using sectumsempra on him now do you Potter? And plus, Draco has changed! Trust me he has! Why can't you just give him a chance?"

"Why would I give him a chance? I hate his guts!"

"You can't hate someone who you barely know! He's gone through so much shit you know. Don't you think it hurts, Potter?" She cries, "Seeing someone you love, come into your common room and cry everyday? Hearing them cry themselves to sleep every night? Knowing that they are feeling lonely and feeling as if they have no one that cares about them? He's my best friend! He deserves better than this bullshit."

Harry watched her shout at him as a tear streamed down her face.

"I'm surprised that he hasn't obliviated himself by now." She sniggered. "If I were him I would've done it ages ago."

Harry didn't say anything.

"But then again, Draco's strong, unlike me. I can barely handle getting a pinch on the arm." Said Pansy.

Harry still didn't say anything.

She looked down at the floor before bursting into tears.

"Pansy-" Harry almost whispered while putting his hand on her arm; trying his best to comfort her.

She squatted his hand away and then smacked him across the face.

 _Ouch_ ; Harry thought.

"You listen carefully Potter! I don't want you causing him anymore pain or stress! Please be nice to him." Pansy sighed.

Harry nodded his head quickly before running to his potions lesson.

_______

Everyone turned around to look at him when he entered the classroom. But it wasn't like he cared that he was late, it was only by a couple minutes. But then again, he did have Snape.

"Potter." Snape said sternly. "You're late."

"Sorry professor. Forgot what lesson I had." Harry lied.

The whole class laughed.

"10 points from Gryffindor. Now sit down." 

Harry sat down on his seat next to Malfoy.

He turned to look at Malfoy and studied him for a moment. Malfoy still had his tired eyes, and he still had his look of sadness in his eyes. His eyes were silver grey; shining vividly like some beautiful charm you find in muggle shops. His hair was still messy like it had been for the past few weeks. Not that it bothered Harry; he always thought that Malfoy's hair looked better when it was messy. His skin was obviously still pale as fuck. His nose was a cute nose. The type of nose that you just want to 'boop' with your finger. His lips were a dark pink but yet creamy colour. They were smooth and soft. Malfoy had the type of lips that you had to hold back from kissing them.

"Potter you've been staring at me for the past three minutes." Malfoy pointed out rather quickly, trying to hide the blush on his cheeks.

"Malfoy, i'm so sorry." Harry stated truthfully.

"It's not a big deal." 

"No- I meant i'm sorry for using sectumsempra on you."

Malfoy looked up at him, surprised and shocked. "Don't bullshit with me Potter."

"Malfoy, i'm being serious." 

"Shut up Potter. Have you found out who your secret admirer is yet?" Malfoy asked, desperately trying to change the subject.

"Why are you so interested in my secret admirer?" Harry said while laughing slightly. He knew that Malfoy knew who his secret admirer was, but he was annoyed that Malfoy hadn't told him who. He really wanted to know.

 _Because I am your secret admirer, you oblivious twat;_ Thought Draco.

"Just wondering. Have you found out who it is or not?" Malfoy questioned.

Harry sighed. "No. I actually have no clue, i'm not even kidding."

_For Merlin's sake Potter. You even have glasses and you still can't see the obvious._

"Oh come on! You must have some idea!"

"I don't!" Said Harry. "I'm surprised that someone even likes me to be honest..."

Malfoy glared at him as if he was crazy. "Are you serious?"

"What?"

"You're Harry Potter! The Boy Who Won't Fucking Die! And your hotness is just a huge bonus." Malfoy rushed.

_If he doesn't know it's me by now, then I'm officially going to give up._

Harry blinked. "You- You think i'm hot?"

_Is this bitch fucking serious? I literally just said the exact words that I wrote to him in the letters, and he still doesn't know it's me. Well, guess i've given up then._

"Fuck yeah I do." Malfoy said while looking him up and down.

Harry's face went a shade of dark red, he wasn't really sure why. "T- Thanks, I guess."

_____

The potions lesson continued, Draco was still trying to give hints to Harry that he's his secret admirer, but there was no use, because Harry is as oblivious as they get.

Draco was this close >< to giving up. He didn't even know why he bothered sending Harry the letter in the first place. Harry didn't know his secret admirer was a boy, and from as far as Draco knew, Harry is straight. And it's not like Harry would ever reciprocate his feelings anyway.

Because Draco was a bad person; a horrible person; as so he thought himself. He had a low self esteem, and hardly any confidence whatsoever. He would always look in his bathroom mirror and sigh as the negative thoughts would fill his mind; Why am I so unattractive? Why would anyone ever look at me and think that I'm good looking? Exactly, they wouldn't.

He used to self harm, nearly every day, well that was until Pansy caught him in the act and hid all his razors; he remembers the day it happened so clearly.

_Draco looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and cried even harder. He cried so hard that he was finding it strangely difficult to even breathe correctly._

_He was a mess. A disgrace to his family, his father, a disgrace to everyone._

_Potter's words from earlier that day echoed repeatedly in his mind; "I don't give a damn what your father thinks Malfoy! He's vile and cruel! And you're pathetic!"_

_**Pathetic**. Draco didn't even bother denying it anymore, the words hurt like someone had just stabbed a knife in his so called cold and non existent heart._

_' **Pathetic. That's what you are. You're nothing but a useless person that everybody hates. No one cares about you Draco.'** The imaginary voice in his mind told him._

**_I wonder if anyone will actually ever like me? Or love me, even?_ **

**_I wish I had someone to love me, someone who truly cared about me. Someone who didn't see me as useless and pathetic._ **

**_Is that too much to ask for?_ **

_Draco searched for the sharp piece of metal, but it was nowhere to be found._

_"Fuck, where did I put it?" He said to himself quietly._

_Then he remembered. He put it in the cabinet just above the toilet._

_He scattered through the cabinet quickly, and his eyes lit up when he finally found what he was looking for._

_Draco grabbed the razor and dragged it downwards across his arm, groaning in pain as his blood poured into his bathroom sink. He repeated the process again, and again, and again. Tears strung his eyes as they continued to trail down his pale white cheeks. He let out some choked sobs as the pain went on and didn't even realise that the door had opened until he heard a familiar voice saying his name._

_"Dra- Draco?.." The voice said softly._

_Draco turned his head to see Pansy standing at the door way. Her dark green eyes looked at him with concern and shock._

_Pansy lowered her gaze to Draco's arm which was dripping with blood. She tried to stay calm as she slowly walked towards him, her shaking hands carefully removed the razor from Draco's._

_"Draco.. don't do this.." She pleaded as her eyes started to water._

_"I- I'm sorry... I-" He stuttered; but Pansy cut him off by placing a finger on his lips._

_She cleaned and bandaged his arms up, slowly walking him to his bed with care._

_"Accio hot chocolate, Accio blanket." Pansy whispered. She tucked him in the blanket and placed the hot chocolate on the counter beside his bed. "We'll talk about this in the morning." She said while kissing him on the cheek lightly and then turning the light off. "Goodnight Draco."_

Pansy still gets worried everyday. If Draco isn't in his dorm then she instantly has to check the bathroom. 

_____

"Well that's it for today's lesson" Said Snape. "Remember that next week we are brewing Amortentia."

 _Oh fuck_ ; Thought Draco.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm starting to really like uploading on ao3??? it's so much cooler than wattpad but you didn't hear that from me...

Harry smiled softly as he opened another letter from his secret admirer.

_ Dear Harry, _

_ What do you really think of Malfoy? Do you really hate him? I'm just curious really, I never thought you truly hated him. I really don't think he's that bad..... _

_ I know he doesn't hate you. I think everyone knows that.  _

_ Love, _

_ Your Secret Admirer. _

For some reason, he didn't have any words to respond with. He suddenly remembered what Pansy said to him the other day.

_ "That's not a reason to hate someone!" She shouted. "Blaise is an annoying git, yet you don't see me hating him and using sectumsempra on him now do you Potter?" _

She was right, you can't just hate someone because they're annoying; it made no sense, and it wasn't a valid reason. Ron was annoying sometimes, well nearly all the time, but Harry didn't hate him.

_ "And plus, Draco has changed! Trust me he has!" _

Harry guessed that Pansy was right about that one as well; Draco had changed slightly. He doesn't insult Harry's friends anymore, and doesn't even insult him either. Instead of insulting him, it seemed as if Malfoy had started to compliment him instead. Part of him couldn't stop thinking about what Malfoy said last potions lesson.

_ "You're Harry Potter! The Boy Who Won't Fucking Die! And your hotness is just a huge bonus." _

He felt as if he had heard that exact phrase from somewhere before.. but didn't know where.

_ "You can't hate someone who you barely know!"  _

That was the one thing from what Pansy said that couldn't seem to leave his mind. It was true, you can't hate someone you barely know.

He decided to start writing back to his secret admirer.

_ To My Secret Admirer, _

_ I don't hate Malfoy; well, I don't think I do. I don't know what's going on with him to be honest. He has changed, yes, but his sudden change confuses me. I used to think I hated him, but now that I think about it, I can't seem to find a valid reason to hate him. He was my enemy, but I guess now that he's changed that that's all in the past. He's still can be annoying sometimes though. _

_ And I would be a fool to ever believe that Malfoy likes me, trust me, he doesn't. Why do you think he likes me? _

_ Also, I was wondering if you could maybe give me some more clues on who you are? If you don't want to, then it's fine, but I'm dying to know who you are. _

_ Are you in any of my classes? If so, what class? _

_ Do you talk to Hermione? I don't know why, but everytime I mention you, she seems to go awfully quiet. I think she might know who you are, did you tell her? She hasn't told me, which honestly annoys the hell out of me.  _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_____

As Harry was walking to breakfast, he saw the most unexpected thing ever.

It was Malfoy, talking with Hermione. They were both laughing, it looked as if Hermione was teasing him about something. But they acted friendly.

_ Since when was Hermione friends with Malfoy?  _

_ Why didn't she tell me about this? _

Harry watched as they both giggled to each other. He saw Malfoy burying his face in his hands, desperately trying to hide the blush that appeared on his cheeks.

"I knew it was you all along." Hermione smiled. "It's so obvious."

"I know! I've given him so many hints that it's me, but it's pointless, he's oblivious as hell!" Malfoy said with a frown on his face. "I don't know what else to do, I think I'm going to give up."

_ Him? _

"I'll help you."

Malfoy's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes! I've been waiting for this to happen for ages." She said.

He laughed. "Thank you, Granger."

_____

"What were you talking to Malfoy about?" Harry asked Hermione, who was eating her breakfast.

_ Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit _ ; Thought Hermione.

Ron suddenly stopped eating. "You were talking with Malfoy?"

_ FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. _

"I wasn't talking with Malfoy." Hermione said quickly, hoping that Ron and Harry wouldn't see through her lies. Maybe if she tried to make out that Harry just saw it in his mind or something? "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Don't lie to me, I saw you two talking earlier." Said Harry as he rolled his eyes.

_ Well, fuck. There's no getting out of it now, and I'm meant to be smart! _

"Oh, that. That was nothing, don't worry."

"But you guys were laughing, and acting all friendly." Harry spoke slowly. "Are you guys- like are you- are you guys dating?"

_ Oh my god, he's jealous. Wait until I tell Malfoy about this.  _

Hermione couldn't help but snort. "No, we aren't dating! We're just friends." 

"Oh.. Okay.."

"You're friends with Malfoy?" Ron asked curiously.

"Yes, is that a problem?" She responded.

Ron shrugged. "I'm not that bothered. After all, it's your friendship, not mine. I'm just surprised; that's all."

_________

"Luna!" Called Harry, trying his best to catch up with her.

She turned around with a sweet delicate smile on her face. "Hello Harry."

"I was wondering if you could help me with something..."

"Of course. You are quite alright aren't you?" 

"I'm okay." Said Harry. "You know about my secret admirer right?"

Luna giggled. "I think everyone knows Harry. I think it's extremely cute how they wrote that letter to you. It's like one of those stories where someone confesses their love through a letter, the person who received the letter finds out who it is, tells them that they feel the same way, and then they live happily ever after. So romantic."

"I was wondering if you know who it is?"

"I do know, indeed."

"Really? Who?"

She looked up at him with signs of disapproval. "Harry, you know I am no one to break someone's trust, even if they don't know that I know it's them."

"I have no clue who they are."

"My mother once told me that sometimes the special person you've been searching for turns out to be right in front of you all along."

Harry let out a frustrated sigh.

"Harry, this person wants you to figure out who they are, because they can't confess their love for you any other way. When you figure out who they are, you can talk it through with them, and maybe you guys could get together. Your secret admirer has given you a lot of clues, and I know it hurts them that you still don't know who they are." Luna pauses. "and I have no need to try and sound mean Harry, but you can be a bit.. oblivious sometimes."

"Why would they be hurt by the fact that I don't know who they are?" Harry considered, puzzled and confused.

"Because they probably think that the thought of them being your secret admirer never occurred to you, which it hasn't yet. They also probably think that if you don't know who they are.. then you might have been expecting much more than them; basically, they probably don't think they're good enough.."

Harry was speechless. He had never thought of it that way. The thought of him hurting his secret admirer's feelings made the feeling of guilt surround him. He didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings; especially not his secret admirers. He has to find out who they are, and he has to find out fast.

"Is it- is it really that obvious on who it is?" He asked.

"More than obvious."

_______

_ Dear Harry, _

_ It's nice to hear that you've got past your rival phase with him, maybe you two could become friends at some point. _

_ You would be a fool not to believe that Malfoy likes you, Harry. He talks about you all the time... _

_ For some reason, I'm not as scared as I was before, for you to figure out who I am; I'm very surprised that you haven't guessed yet. _

_ I know you don't like me back, there is no arguing about that. I don't care if you reject me anymore, I've almost gotten used to the pain of being rejected and hurt; so it won't be anything new. _

_ I want you to figure out who I am, because me hiding my feelings from you hurts more than I thought it would. And this is the only way I could tell you. I know you're probably thinking 'why can't you just tell me in person?' because i'm a pussy, and a big coward. I don't have that type of bravery; I don't have any type of bravery. _

_ So from now on, I'll give you as many clues as you like. (Not like I haven't given you enough clues already, hint the sarcasm.) _

_ I am in one of your classes; we have potions together.  _

_ I do talk to G̶r̶a̶n̶g̶e̶r Hermione. We have became friends quite recently. And no, I didn't tell her, she figured it out herself. It's no surprise to me that she knows who I am; she is rather smart and observant. In my opinion, I think she is more of a Ravenclaw than a Gryffindor if i'm being honest. _

_ May I ask why you are so interested in trying to figure out who I am? I never thought that you would be so fascinated. _

_ I thought you were with Ginny? If you're not, then I would say you most definitely like her. I've seen the way you look at her. _

_ Love, _

_ Your Secret Admirer. _


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DRACO: what if i was your secret admirer... jk... unless?

"Mr. Potter.." Said Snape. "Can you remind the class of what we are brewing this lesson?"

"I don't know, Sir." Harry commented quietly, he wasn't listening, he didn't even hear the question; he was too busy thinking about his secret admirer.

"We are brewing Amortentia, you would know if you bothered to listen last lesson. Now, would anyone like to tell me what Amortentia is?"

Before anyone else could answer, Hermione's hand shot up.

"Yes, Miss Granger?"

"Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. It is rumoured to smell differently to each person according to what attracts them."

"Correct. Come on then, get to brewing!"

Harry looked over at Malfoy, who had fallen asleep. He rolled his eyes and shook the sleeping boy gently. "Malfoy, Wake up."

Malfoy's eyes opened tiredly. "Huh- What-" he paused as he looked around the room to realise that he was in class. "Oh." 

The blonde had been incredibly tired lately, well he's always tired, but he's been more tired than usual. Malfoy spent his nights in bed just simply over thinking and worrying, not bothering to actually try and get any sleep.

"We are brewing Amortentia, Malfoy."

"Oh.." Malfoy gulped nervously.

Harry rolled his eyes again and started to read the instructions. 

_ First drop one Ashwinder Egg into your cauldron.  _

He snatched the Ashwinder Eggs from Malfoy and put one into their cauldron.

_ Next add in half a jar of rose thorns. _

"Malfoy, get me the rose thorns." Harry demanded.

"I sure do love being a slave." Malfoy said dramatically.

"Shut up, Malfoy. I'm not doing this all by myself. We're meant to be working together."

Malfoy got the jar of Rose Thorns and poured in half a jar into their cauldron carefully, stopping after a few thorns dropped into the cauldron, checking that he had the right amount as he squinted his eyes. Looking for the next ingredient, Harry added the ingredient as soon as he found it, which happened to be Peppermint; and then he added Moonstone.

"Where's the pearl dust?" Harry asked, feeling helpless, especially considering the fact that he was right next to Draco Malfoy trying to make Amortentia. He felt even more helpless when Malfoy grabbed the pearl dust and handed it to him. Harry poured some pearl dust into their cauldron, ignoring Malfoy's eyes glaring at the back of his head.

_ Stir your mixture until steam rises from the cauldron. _

_ Once your potion is ready, steam will rise from your cauldron in spirals and you'll begin to smell a strong scent; according to what you are attracted to. _

Harry followed the instructions anxiously, he didn't want to go wrong and make a fool of himself, especially if it was in front of Malfoy.

A couple minutes after he began stirring, steam started to come out of their cauldron.

Deciding that he could no longer stare at their cauldron with anticipation, Harry glanced at Malfoy, who for some reason was looking like a nervous wreck. "Well?"

"What?" Malfoy asked dumbly, not knowing what Harry was on about.

"What do you smell?"

"Oh, right, um-" Malfoy cut himself off as he got ready to sniff their cauldron, he wasn't entirely sure why he bothered, he already knew what he would smell, it would be the smell of Harry. And as the smell traveled through his nose, he figured out he was correct, he did indeed smell Harry. (And the slightest smell of his favourite candles that he brought himself last year, but mainly just Harry.) Malfoy desperately wanted to cover his face because he knew for a fact that he was blushing.

"In your own time."

_ Well there's no point lying, i'm not smart enough to come up with a decent lie anyway _ ; Thought Draco.

"I smell Black cherries, Quidditch brooms, Apple's, and Treacle Tart." 

Harry nodded, and leaned forward to smell their cauldron. 

He smelled Mint, that reminded him a lot of the Slytherin common room, he remembered that one time when he snuck in there, it was when he drank that polyjuice potion so he could disguise himself as Goyle in second year. The Slytherin common room was very different from the Gryffindor common room, it seemed slightly bigger and more spacious. As soon as he walked in he instantly realised how chilly it was, and it scared him slightly because along with that the common room was extremely dark, Harry couldn't help but feel a tad bit eerie. While he was disguised as Goyle, he also had to put up with the annoyance of Malfoy complaining about him, and saying the phrase  _ 'Saint Potter' _ with every chance he got.

The second thing he smelled was Tart Apple.

The third thing he smelled was Hawthorn Wood. 

He also smelt the hint of the sweet aromatic smell of Vanilla. Harry loved the smell and found Vanilla oddly comforting and delicate. Vanilla was a strong smell; but not overpowering.

And the last thing he smelled was-

_ Malfoy's cologne? _

Realisation hit Harry like a truck. Everything he smelled from the Amortentia was Malfoy. He smelled Malfoy. Which could only mean one thing, he was attracted to the smell of Malfoy, which meant he was attracted to Malfoy.

_ I'm not gay. I mean- I don't think I am. I've never even looked at guys that way before _ ; Thought Harry. 

But Harry knew that was a damn right lie. He has looked at guys many times, but he just didn't think much of it. It hadn't worried him until now.

He remembered when he bumped into Malfoy after Quidditch. Harry had just finished talking to Luna, who congratulated him on winning his match against Slytherin. He remembered walking to the locker rooms, not looking where he was going. He remembered colliding with Malfoy's chest; his rock hard chest. Malfoy had just came out from having a shower. His towel hung lowly by his hips, and water was dripping down his pale body, his blonde hair stuck to his forehead. He remembered Malfoy saying,  _ 'Watch it, Potter _ ' as he pushed past him and walked away, showing off his incredible and over attractive back dimples.

_ Okay, well maybe I have looked at guys in that way before. _

He also remembered the various but rare times he witnessed Malfoy smiling or laughing. As said before, it was awfully rare that Malfoy would smile or laugh; Harry didn't like this, he always thought a smile looked better on people. He also thought it was incredibly cute, not that he would ever admit that to himself; or anyone else for that matter.

_ Well- Okay. Maybe i'm a little gay. Just a little. I might be interested in guys; But do I still like girls? I think do? I don't know? Why haven't I realised this since now? _

_ Fuck. I'm attracted to guys, not only that, but I'm also attracted to Malfoy, a guy who hates my guts. _

_ Brilliant. _

"Potter!" Malfoy hissed, making Harry step out of his trance.

"What?!" Harry almost shouted, obviously startled, considering Malfoy scared the living shit out of him.

"What do you smell?"

"Oh- I smell grass, books, and fresh air." Harry said quickly, hoping that Malfoy wouldn't catch on to the fact that what he just said was complete bullshit.

The Slytherin sighed sadly and looked at the floor, a noticeable frown showing on his face.

_

_ Dear Harry, _

_ I need to tell you something. It's very important, and I really don't know how you are going to react. But I need to tell you, especially if you are trying to figure out who I am. _

_ Love, _

_ Your Secret Admirer. _

_

_ To My Secret Admirer, _

_ Are you okay? Is it something bad? You can tell me anything, you know.  _

_ And by the way, what you said about Ginny.. I don't like her, I never did in the first place. We're just friends. _

_ Did you just say that Malfoy talks about me? Does he really? Like actually? I doubt it. _

_ I'm interested in who you are because I want to get to know you. You never know, maybe I like you back.  _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_

_ Dear Harry, _

_ Can I ask you something first? _

_ Love, _

_ Your Secret Admirer. _

_ _ _

_ To My Secret Admirer, _

_ Of course. What is it? Are you sure everything is okay?  _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_

_ Dear Harry, _

_ Everything is fine; well, at the moment it is. _

_ Are you straight? Don't freak out at the fact that I asked you this, please. It's a personal question and frankly none of my business, but I was just wondering. Of course you're straight, who am I kidding? I'm going to regret writing this, I'm going to regret writing this next sentence. _

_ Harry, I'm a guy. _

_ I'm sorry if this bothers you, I just thought I should tell you. Because how are you going to figure out who I am when you don't even know what gender I am? I'm guessing you just assumed I was a girl? Well, I'm guessing everyone just assumed that anyway? Because everyone just assumes that it's girls that likes boys, and not boys that like boys. Why is straight the default? _

_ If you find it a problem that I'm a guy, I understand. If you no longer want to write to me, or want me writing to you, I understand. Trust me, I completely understand. _

_ I think it's probably completely obvious who I am now. But I bet you still don't know, considering you are very oblivious.  _

_ Again, i'm sorry. _

_ Love, _

_ Your Secret Admirer. _


	7. Chapter 7

It's been a month since Harry found out that his secret admirer was a guy, but that didn't stop his secret admirer from sending letters to him.

_ Dear Harry, _

_ I fucked up, very badly, I know.  _

_ I miss you.  _

_ Sending these letters were the only way I could talk to you without feeling scared. It made me feel less nervous, much different from how I react around you in person. _

_ I wish I didn't tell you that I'm a guy. I wish I didn't give you all of those clues.  _

_ But I don't wish that I didn't send you that first letter. When we started writing to each other, I felt happy, I started to feel loved, but of course that was a bit far fetched, no one would ever love me. _

_ I wish it didn't have to be like this. _

_ Love, _

_ Your Secret Admirer. _

The thing is, Harry truly didn't know what to think. It didn't gross him out that his secret admirer was a guy, he had no problem with it. Harry never really assumed that his secret admirer was a girl, he didn't even think about their gender. He was just simply confused, with his sexuality, with everything. And Malfoy definitely didn't help;  _ the hot git. _

Harry thought about asking Seamus or Dean for advice, considering they were the only gay people he knew.

His secret admirer stated that it was completely obvious who they were, but Harry still had no idea.

_

"Hermione." Harry whispered. "Can we talk? It's kind of important."

Currently, they were in the Gryffindor common room, just the two of them. Everyone else was asleep.

Hermione stopped reading her book and looked up at Harry. "Are you okay?"

"My secret admirer is a guy." Harry blurted out.

"I know."

"And- wait what?"

"I said, I know."

Harry blinked. "How?"

"You are so oblivious, Harry." She laughed.

"I get told that a lot.."

"So what's the problem?"

Harry gulped nervously. He knew he could trust Hermione, and he had no problem with telling her, it was just finding the confidence to say it out loud. 

"Harry?"

_ She's not going to judge you, Harry. _

**_But what if she does judge me?_ **

"Are you okay? You're shaking, Harry."

_ There is nothing wrong with you liking guys, and it's not your fault if she thinks otherwise. You know she will accept you, she always does, so what are you so nervous about? _

**_But what if she doesn't accept me?_ **

"Don't cry, just talk to me."

_ She's your best friend! She supports you no matter what! You know that! _

**_But what if she doesn't support me? What if she thinks of me differently? What if she thinks I'm disgusting? Weird?_ **

_ She's not like that Harry. _

**_But what if she is like that?_ **

_ But she isn't like that, so there is no need to worry. _

"Please just talk to me, please stop crying. You can tell me anything."

_ 'You can tell me anything..' _

_ Of course I can tell her anything, she's my best friend. _

"I think- I think i'm bisexual." Harry said, with his hands shaking, his heart beating faster than it normally does, his palms sweaty, and tears streaming down his cheeks.

Hermione's face softened, her mouth open slightly, a noticeable look of sadness in her eyes. "Harry.."

"I'm bisexual, and it's who I am, nothing can change that. I didn't choose to be attracted to guys, it's just the way I am. And if you can't accept that then-"

She cut him off by pulling him into a tight warm hug, causing Harry let out a happy sigh of relief, and hugged her back, crying into her shoulder.

"Harry, I support you know no matter what. You can tell me anything, I would never judge you, you're my best friend." Hermione reassured gently.

"Thank you, Hermione." He replied as she wiped the tears off of his face.

_

_ Dear my secret admirer, _

_ Hello. I apologise for ignoring you, there has been a lot on my mind lately. _

_ I don't have a problem with you being a guy. It's not weird, and it's definitely not disgusting. _

_ And to answer your question, no, I am not straight. _

_ I am bisexual. _

_ I told Hermione today. She was so supportive, so accepting. I'm so thankful to have a friend like her.  _

_ I'm glad I made you feel happy, you made me feel happy too; I'm being completely honest here. These past few months that we have been writing to each other has been probably the happiest months of my life.  _

_ So, thank you. _

_ I think you're really cute, the way you write, the way you're so passionate about the way you feel, the fact that you don't bother denying your feelings. It's beautiful. _

_ I hope I made you feel loved, because you are. Many people love you, even if they don't know how to show it. _

_ Give me as many hints as you can. If you feel comfortable with doing so, of course. I can't wait to figure out who you are. _

_ I bet you're so much cuter in person. _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_

"Pansy! Pansy!" Draco shouted from his room, a huge smile and a bright red blush on his face.

Pansy rushed into his room, shocked. Draco was smiling; she hadn't seen his real smile in ages.

"He thinks I'm cute! He called me cute! Look!" He said as he handed her the letter.

She smiled as she read the letter. Pansy looked up at Draco, who was now happily jumping up and down on his bed.

"Draco! Get to bed! No one cares about your undying love for Potter! WE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!" Blaise shouted, who was currently in bed, trying his best to get to sleep. But all he could hear was Draco squealing and fanboying.

"Get married already!" Said Greggory.

"oH mY gOd! dId aNy oF yOu sEe pOtTeRs hAiR tOdAy?¿¿ hE's sO hOt! tHe iDiOt iS tRyiNg tO kiLL mE i sWeAr!!" Vincent said, mocking the exact words that Draco said a few days ago.

"Fuck off! You bunch of wankers! I fucking care!" Draco hissed.

Pansy laughed.

"Oh, Pansy. I'm so in love."

_

_ Dear Harry, _

_ I'm not screaming, definitely not! That would be so immature of me! _

_ Merlin, Harry. Why do you have to make me feel like such a sap? I demand you to stop! I hate you, I will never forgive you for this. _

_ And stop complimenting me! Seriously, I'm blushing. _

_ Anyways, let's get to the real stuff. Who was your gay awakening? Mine was you, of course. _

_ Here's a clue for you: _

_ I like apples. A lot. Specifically green ones. _

_ If you see someone eating an apple that's green, then that's probably me. _

_ Love, _

_ Your Secret Admirer. _

_

_ 'Who was your gay awakening?' _

_ How the fuck am I meant to respond to that?;  _ Thought Harry, _ I can't just go 'Oh yeah, Malfoy was my gay awakening, I find him incredibly hot.' _

_ Dear my secret admirer, _

_ You're the cutest person ever, I swear. _

_ No, I will not stop complimenting you, never! _

_ I'd rather not say who my gay awakening was, I mean he's not bad or anything, it's just a little bit unexpected I guess, not that I care about that. He's a slytherin, sassy as fuck, and probably hates me, that's all i'm saying. You probably know who I'm on about. _

_ I will be looking out for someone who eats green apples from now on. _

_ Ps. You don't need alohomora to unlock my heart ;) _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_ _ _

"Are you going to eat the rest of your chicken?" Ron asked curiously.

"No, you can have it." Harry replied.

Harry's eyes scanned everyone in the Great Hall, looking for a certain someone.

_ 'I like apples. A lot. Specifically green ones. If you see someone eating an apple that's green, then that's probably me.' _

At first he scanned the Gryffindor table, but no one was eating apples. Second, he looked over at the Hufflepuff table. There were two people eating apples, they were both guys, but their apples weren't green. Third, he examined the Ravenclaw table, but the only person eating an apple was Luna.

At last, he checked the Slytherin table. No one was eating an apple except from- Draco?

_ Wait- when did Malfoy become Draco? _

**_Probably since you realised that you have a raging crush on him, dumbass._ **

_ I don't have a crush on Draco _ .

**_Yes you do._ **

_ No I don't. _

**_Yes._ **

_ No. _

**_Yes_ ** _. _

_ No. _

**_Yes_ ** _. _

_ Okay fine, maybe I have a crush on him. _

Harry looked at Draco longingly, his heart beating fast. Draco was eating an apple. A green apple.

Could Draco be my secret admirer? 

_ No, of course he's not. He would never be interested in me that way. _

_ He probably likes Hermione;  _ Harry thought _ , remembering how they acted around each other a couple weeks ago. _

Draco felt someone's gaze on him, and looked up to realise that Harry was staring at him.

"Pansy!" He hissed while poking her arm, trying to get her attention. "He's staring at me! Do you think he knows? What should I do? Just awkwardly stare back like I usually do?"

Pansy rolled her eyes and gave him the 'Why are you like this' look. "Just smile at him or something, but try not to be creepy."

_ Smile?¿¿!!" Is she kidding mEe?¿¡¡! _

He turned back to look at Harry, who was still staring at him, and tried his best to give Harry his non- creepiest smile. Harry blinked and looked down at the floor, blushing and smiling to himself.

_ I change my mind;  _ Harry thought _ , I definitely have a crush on him. _


	8. Chapter 8

_ "Harry.." Draco said softly. "There's something I need to tell you.." _

_ Harry looked up at him, trying to ignore how the way Draco said his name made his chest sting. "Yes?" _

_ "I know who your secret admirer is." _

_ "You do?" _

_ Draco nodded and moved closer. "You have no idea, do you?" _

_ "No." _

_ He just realised how close they were, he tried to ignore that as well. If only any of them were to move a bit closer they would be- _

_ "Is there anyone that you're hoping it could be?" Draco whispered. _

**_Yes_ ** _ ; Thought Harry,  _ **_I hope that it's you._ **

_ "Maybe." He replied. _

_ "Do you like this person?" _

_ "Yes." _

_ "Harry..." _

_ Harry tried to calm down his breathing, he didn't think he had ever been this nervous before. _

_ "What would you do if I was your secret admirer?" Asked Draco. _

**_If only it was like that._ **

_ Their noses were touching, and Harry could feel Draco's breath over his lips. _

_ "Harry." _

_ Draco leaned in closer. _

_ "Harry.." _

_ "Harry!" _

_ "HARRY!" _

_

Harry woke up, breathing heavily. He looked up to see Ron by the side of his bed, rolling his eyes.

"Bloody hell, Harry! I've been trying to wake you up for the past three minutes." Said Ron.

"Oh..." Harry replied.

"Now hurry up and get ready, you need to eat breakfast."

_ Fuck _ ; Thought Harry,  _ this has been the fifth time this week i've had a dream about Draco. _

_ Get out of my head, you stupid ferret. _

_

Harry turned to look at Ron, who had already finished his breakfast and was now looking very bored. Looking at him carefully, Harry considered asking Ron if he knew who his secret admirer was;  _ Ron was smart, he must have some idea right? _

"Ron, do you by any chance know who my secret admirer is?" He asked curiously. Many people have told him that he was too oblivious, which only made him think harder about who the person might be.  _ Is it really that obvious?; _ Harry wondered how many people know who his secret admirer is.

For some peculiar reason, Ron started laughing, and he couldn't stop laughing. He laughed so loudly that nearly the whole table looked at him.

_ Why does he laugh every time I mention my secret admirer?; _ Thought Harry;  _ He found out ages ago, surely he should be over it by now! It's not even that funny! _

**_Don't worry, Harry. He's just jealous_ ** .

_ Damn right he is! _

"What? I don't get what's funny." Said Harry, he was so confused on why Ron started laughing out of the ordinary.

"How do you not know? Honestly, Harry! Stop being so dense!" Ron chuckled.

Hermione's eyes were suddenly wide open, mouth hanging gaping with shock. "Wait- I wasn't aware that you knew! How did you find out?"

"Well, it's kind of obvious, if you think about it. I thought I was being silly at first, I would always be thinking  _ 'No surely not' _ and then after a while I was like,  _ 'Bloody hell it's him isn't it, why am I not even just slightly surprised?' _ "

"Ron, you have to tell me! Or give me hints at least!" Harry demanded.

Ron shook his head with disbelief. "I won't tell you who it is. I can give you just one hint though, maybe two."

Harry waited in anticipation.

"You guys are both ridiculously obsessed with each other."

_ The only person that i'm obsessed with is Draco; _ Thought Harry.

**_Don't be silly, Harry. Draco isn't your secret admirer._ **

_ Right, of course. _

"Can you give me another clue?" He requested.

Ron turned to Hermione and gave her a  _ 'is he fucking serious?' _ look.

"Um.. you guys always stare at each other?"

_ I stare at Draco sometimes.  _

**_Harry, honestly! Listen to yourself, why would Draco ever be interested in you?_ **

_ You're right. I should stop getting my hopes up. _

**_Yes, you should._ **

_ But what if he is Draco? _

**_Your secret admirer isn't Draco!_ **

_ I wish he was. Like- imagine how amazing that would be? I would be so happy. I would do anything for Draco to like me back, for him to be my secret admirer maybe.. _

**_You're getting your hopes up._ **

_ I know but I can't help it. Why does Draco have to have this affect on me?  _

Harry looked over Ron's shoulder, his eyes meeting Draco's. Draco seemed to be in a daydream, he probably didn't even realise that Harry was staring at him.

He loved Draco's eyes. He would find himself easily getting lost in them. They reminded him of the moon; glistening and shimmery. Draco's eyes may be grey, but they were still beautiful. People say that the best way to feel or guess someone's emotions is to look in their eyes, because their eyes hide back all the pain that they've gone through, all the stress. For example, for sadness, people's eyes would look glossy, and would maybe look even lost; this is exactly what Draco's eyes looked like.

_ He is so beautiful; _ Harry thought.

"Are you done making heart eyes at Malfoy yet?" Ron sniggered, he had been trying to get Harry's attention for the past five minutes.

Harry's gaze snapped to look back at Ron. "Huh?"

"Nothing."

_

Harry groaned; He was in potions right now, listening to Snape bore on about god knows what. Christ, his voice was so tiring- why does he have to talk so slowly, as if he's going to drift off any second?

And where on earth was Draco? It felt weird and boring without him there, there was no one making snarky and sarcastic comments, (which were mostly about how bad Harry was at potions and the common phrase :  _ "Potter! You're doing it wrong!" _ )

Interrupting his thoughts, the door opened, revealing Draco. He quickly got in his seat, making sure to not meet Harry's eyes.

"Hello, Malfoy." Harry smiled, like some sort of love sick puppy. He found it adorable how Draco was trying not to acknowledge him.

Draco froze. At the corner of his eye he could see Pansy winking at him, gesturing the '👉👌' symbol. He mouthed something on the lines of  _ 'Go fuck yourself'. _

He then ignored Pansy, and decided to focus his attention on to Harry, who was still grinning at him. "Hi?"

Harry was more than relieved with Draco's response, he was surprised that Draco didn't tell him to fuck off like he always does.

Taking a deep breath, Draco decided to bring up the daily topic. "Found out who your secret admirer is yet?"

"Why do our conversations always start like this?" Harry asked.

"You didn't answer my question, Potter."

"Well you didn't answer mine either."

"I asked you first."

"And I asked you second!"

"Potter! That's not how it works-"

"Is so!"

Draco sighed. "Just answer the question."

Harry badly wanted to say how much he wanted Draco to be his secret admirer. He wanted to ask Draco if it was him.

_ But why would it be him? _

_ For God's sake, Draco was way out of his league! _

_ He probably likes Pansy _ ; Thought Harry,  _ They are never apart. _

_ It can't be Draco. It just can't.  _

But Harry wishes it was.

"Yes- I mean- No- Fuck! I don't know! Why are you always asking me this?!" He stuttered.

"Curious." Draco gulped. "That's all."

"Tell me who it is."

"What- No! You have to figure it out for yourself!"

"How the fuck does everyone know? And I don't?!"

"Because it's obvious, and you don't know because you're oblivious."

"Can you give me a clue?" Harry asked. He just wanted Draco to be his secret admirer, he wanted Draco to like him back. But that would never happen; but a boy can dream, can't he?

"Okay..." Draco said sadly.

_ Please Draco. I just want it to be you. Just say it's you, please, that's all I wish for. _

_ Christ, I don't even care that I'm getting my hopes up. _

_ I get that you don't like me back, and I understand why. I was so horrible to you, Draco. I hope you know that I am truly sorry for what happened in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom that one night, it was never meant to happen. _

"They are a pureblood."

Harry's breath hitched; Draco's a pureblood.

**_For the last time, Harry! Draco isn't your secret admirer._ **

_ He's not? _

**_No, he wouldn't even look twice at someone like you._ **

_ Oh. _

"Is there someone that you want it to be?" Asked Draco, regretting it immediately, he wasn't prepared for the pain of knowing that Harry liked someone who wasn't him.

Harry looked straight into his eyes. "Yes."

Draco's heart stung, he looked down at the floor and avoided any chance of eye contact with Harry. He could feel his lips trembling and his eyes watering. He knew Harry would never feel the same way about him. Merlin, he was so badly hoping that he didn't end up crying.

_

"Draco, you've been hugging me and crying onto my stomach for the past ten minutes, tell me what's wrong." Pansy whispered.

"He likes someone else, Pans." Draco cried, a hiccup following that cry a few seconds later. "Probably that fucking ginger weasley girl."

Pansy lifted her hand to stroke his hair, she does it often when he's sad, it calms him down. She felt sad for Draco, she knew how he felt about Harry. But Pansy thought that Harry liked him too, that's why she suggested Draco writing that letter to him.

"I just- sometimes I would think that- maybe he would like me back? Obviously not." Said Draco, proceeding to pour his broken heart out.

"Draco-" Pansy started, but got cut off.

"No one understands how much this hurts! I've- I've liked him for so long- Merlin!"

"I-" 

"You know, sometimes I imagine what it would be like if he liked me back, like how cool would that be? We would be holding hands, kissing each other whenever we had the chance, telling each other we love each other-"

Pansy gulped, this was all her fault, she should have never told Draco to write that letter in the first place.

"I'm so weak, Pans. So pathetic! No wonder he doesn't like me!"

She gasped. "Show me your arm."

Draco looked up."What?"

"You arm, Draco. Please."

He lifted his sleeve up, and Pansy sighed in relief. No cuts were to be seen except from his old cuts around his dark mark from last year. Bringing him to her chest, she hugged him tightly, her heart aching as she listened to his choked sobs.

"Your such a great friend, Pansy." Draco stated gently. "I love you, a lot."

"I love you too, Draco."


	9. Chapter 9

Draco woke up from hearing knocking on his door.

"Can I come in?" Asked the knocker.

He let out a frustrated groan,  _ how dare they interrupt his beauty sleep. _ "No, fuck off." Draco said as he rolled over onto his side.

"And why should I do that?" 

"Because i'm busy."

"Doing what exactly?"

Draco sniggered, and wiped his tear stained cheeks. "Crying. Now fuck off will you?"

Suddenly the door swung open, revealing Blaise, who had his arms crossed and was looking at Draco with a grim look on his face.

He walked to the edge of Draco's bed and sat down next to him. "I don't believe you."

"Huh?" A confused Draco asked.

"I don't believe that Potter likes someone else."

"Blaise, this isn't going to make me feel any better-"

"I'm being serious-"

"So am I!"

"He likes you, I know he does."

Draco gritted his teeth. "Blaise-"

"I've seen the way he stares at you, the way he blushes when you tease him, the way he smiles whenever he sees you, the way-"

"Stop bullshitting! Honestly-"

"Draco! For fucks sake!" Blaise shouted and Draco went silent. "He likes you! You daft twat!" He said while he shook his head disapprovingly. Walking to the door, Blaise turned back to look at Draco, "He likes you. Trust me, he does."

_

_ Dear Harry, _

_ Hello. _

_ Do you have any ideas who I am yet? _

_ Let me guess: "No I have no clue because I'm really oblivious and frankly I don't really care anyway because I have my eyes on someone else?" _

_ I honestly don't know what other clues to give you. You must have some idea who I am, surely you must.  _

_ Today's clue is : Hermione punched me in the face once?? I don't know??? HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW WHO I AM?? _

_ Ps. If you don't know who I am by now, then I won't hesitate to pitch myself off of the astronomy tower. _

_ Love, _

_ Your Secret Admirer. _

_

_ Dear my secret admirer, _

_ How did you know I like someone? Do you know who it is? Are you jealous? I don't see why, you're ignoring the fact that you might be the one I like, ever thought of that? _

_ There's this guy, the one that I like, and I'm really hoping that it's you. I've thought about it sometimes, that maybe he could be you, but no.  _

_ He's not you, I know he's not, he can't be! The guy I like would never be interested in me... _

_ But I wish you were him, as bad as it sounds. _

_ Hermione punched you in the face? No way! That must have hurt. _

_ Ps. Please don't. _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_

It was late at night, and Harry was in his bed with the marauders map in his hands. He searched for Draco's name, but it was nowhere to be found. It could only mean one thing, Draco was in the room of requirement.

Harry got out of bed, put his invisibility cloak on, and started walking to the room of requirement.

_ What was Draco doing in the room of requirement?; _ He thought.

As he reached the room of requirement, he turned a corner to see something that he definitely didn't expect to see. 

Draco was sitting on the floor, he had one arm wrapped around his knees that were being held closely to his chest, and the other arm was by his side. He was looking up at a mirror. But it wasn't just some random mirror, it was the mirror of erised.

_ How did Draco even know that the mirror was here?;  _ Thought Harry.  _ He must have came here before. _

At that moment, Harry didn't know what to do. Should he go back to the gryffindor dormitories and sleep, or just stay here?

He decided to sit down next to Draco.

Harry turned to look at him, Draco was breathing very heavily and shaking slightly, was he cold or something? His face was flushed and Harry was certain that he could see faint tears on his cheeks, but then again, he couldn't be sure. No matter how sad he looked, Harry still thought Draco was beautiful.

_ Why was he crying? _

_ I wonder what he sees in that mirror. _

Hoping that he wouldn't regret it later, Harry took his invisibility cloak off. He looked at Draco's hand that was right beside him, he wanted to hold it; he wanted to make Draco feel better.

"Malfoy." Harry said in a low voice, "Are you okay?"

Draco jumped at the sound of Harry's voice,  _ merlin- when the fuck did he get here?!  _

As Harry expected Draco to say something, he didn't. Draco remained quiet, still focusing his attention on the mirror.

"Malfoy.." Harry breathed.

"I'm sorry." Draco blurted out.

"For?"

"For being a dickhead to you."

"It's alright. You're not a dickhead to me anymore, that stopped a while ago."

Harry looked down at Draco's hand again, and moved his own hand a bit closer.

"What do you see?" Draco asked nervously.

For the first time this night, Harry looked into the mirror of erised. He remembered the first time he discovered the mirror of erised, it was in his first year, he saw his parents. But this time, he didn't see his parents, he saw something a lot more different.

It was him and Draco. Kissing and holding hands. It was him and Draco in love. He watched a little longer, and realized that him and Draco both had matching rings on their left hands. He comprehended what it meant, and a huge smile appeared on his face.

Harry obviously couldn't tell Draco what he saw, so he just told him that he would rather not say. Draco nodded and then Harry asked him what he saw, wondering if Draco could see the same thing as him- he  _ wished _ that Draco could see the same thing as him.

And Harry was right. Draco could see the same thing as him. But he too, decided not to share what he saw.

Both of the boys hearts beamed with happiness. Even though they both thought that this would never happen in real life, they smiled at the thought of it.

"This is nice." Harry spoke delicately.

Draco turned to look at Harry. "The mirror?"

"No. You, Me and you. Not arguing, I mean."

"Yeah, it is."

Harry repeated the action that he did way too many times this evening, which happened to be looking at Draco's hand.

_ I wonder what would happen if I held his hand right now. _

**_No, Harry, you shouldn't._ **

_ I should. _

**_No._ **

Ignoring the voice in his head that was disagreeing with his thoughts, Harry inched his hand closer to Draco's, and nervously held Draco's hand in his hand softly.

Draco's breath hitched;  _ ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod he's holding my hand what do i do why is he holding my hand MERLIN HIS HANDS ARE SOFT OHMYGOD OHMYGOD. _

The two of them couldn't stop blushing, neither of them knowing what to say.

After a couple of minutes, Harry decided to speak up. "It's getting late. We should probably go to bed."

"Yeah." Draco exhaled.

"I'll walk you back- I mean- If you want me too- Unless-"

"Okay."

Harry put his invisibility cloak over the both of them, and they proceed to walk to the slytherin common room.

Trying to keep his breathing calm, Draco looked down; they were both so close and they were still holding hands. 

They finally reached the slytherin dormitories, but neither of them wanted to leave.

"I'll see you tomorrow." Harry smiled.

Draco nodded. "Tomorrow."

Just as Draco was about to enter his common room, Harry shouted. "Wait!"

"Yes?"

Harry fidgeted with his hands, not really sure why he was nervous. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Potter." Draco blushed.

_

"Pansy! I held his hand!"


	10. Chapter 10

"Why are you all smiley for?" Hermione asked curiously when Harry entered the Gryffindor common room,  _ why on earth was Hermione still up? _

"Um- I'm not?" Harry tried to persuade her.

"Yes you are. You're blushing as well."

"What- No I am not!"

"Harry."

"Fine!" Harry gave in. "It's just- It's this guy I like.."

Hermione's eyes lit up, and Harry blushed even more.

"Tell me more. What happened?" Hermione said,  intrigued.

"I saw him in front of the mirror of erised. He asked what I saw, I looked and I saw him and I.. we were married.."

"That's adorable."

"That's not it! There's more. Hermione, we held hands! In real life! Oh my god 'Mione, I looked over at him and he looked so beautiful."

"Have you ever thought about telling him how you feel?"

Harry sighed. "No. He isn't interested, I just know it. He would never be interested."

"How do you know?"

"I doubt he's even gay."

Hermione tried not to roll her eyes. "You held hands, that seems pretty gay to me."

"He just needed some comfort, he looked sad.."

"Oh bullshit Harry."

_

"I can't believe it," Draco said. "Blaise, pinch me."

"I will if you won't shut up." Blaise sneered.

Pansy smacked his arm. "Blaise! Everyone has their Hufflepuff moments."

"Fuck off, Pans! I am not a Hufflepuff." Draco shouted.

"Um yes you are! Shall I not remind you of second year? ' _ Perfect Potter! With his stupid broomstick and his stupid ginger girlfriend-" _

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!!"

_ "How dare that uncultured swine not shake my hand? Who does that fuckwit think he is? My father will hear about this!" _

"Pansy!"

"Let's not forget yesterday,  _ 'Oh Merlin Pans, have you seen his hair? It's so soft I just want to thread my fingers through it. How dare he look so freshly shagged-" _

Draco went bright red. "Pansy shut the fuck up! I never said that!"

_

_ Dear my secret admirer, _

_ Why do you like me?  _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_

_ Dear Harry, _

_ Didn't we go over this already? Are you okay?  _

_ You're fucking amazing! Why can't you see it? Probably half the school has a crush on you. _

_ At first, when I found out I liked you, I hated it. I hated it so much. It freaked me out, and it confused me. Because I never felt that way towards anyone before, and I always used to question what it meant. It stressed me out a lot, figuring myself out, the whole sexuality thing, accepting my feelings for you, and most importantly, accepting who I am. I didn't choose to be gay, it's just who I am, and I have to deal with that. I didn't choose to feel this way about you, it's simply something I have no control over. It's something that just happened, and everything happens for a reason. And for whatever reason this happened, I sure am thankful for it. _

_ Ps. I'm not in Gryffindor. That's all I'm saying. Your oblivious ass can figure it out yourself. _

_ Sweet dreams, bitch. _

_ Love, _

_ Your secret admirer. _

_

_ Dear my secret admirer, _

_ I am okay, I just had a little moment there, nothing to worry about. _

_ You're fucking adorable. _

_ When I find out who you are, I'm going to make sure you know how fucking adorable you are. And i'll give you a kiss on the cheek, just to see your cute little flustered face. _

_ I hope you're blushing right now. _

_ Sleep well, cutie. _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_

Harry woke up in the morning, with a big smile on his face.

He greeted Ron and Hermione and the rest of the Gryffindor Table at breakfast by giving them a massive grin.

Hermione and Ron exchanged looks, and Ron muttered something on the lines of,  _ 'He's in way too deep.' _

"So, Harry, how are you, mate?" Ron asked while trying not to laugh at the fact that his best friend was way too head over heels for Malfoy.

"I'm doing brilliantly." Harry blushed. He felt someone sit down next to him, and he turned his head to figure out that it was Ginny. "Hello."

"Hey, Harry," She nodded. "How are you and Malfoy?"

_ OH FUCK _ ; Thought Harry.

_ She knows I like Draco, what the fuck am I meant to say? _

_ Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. _

"What?" Harry asked anxiously, hoping he misheard her.

Ginny gave Harry a weird look. "I said, how are you and Malfoy? Are you alright?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know, like, how's your relationship going?"

"Relationship?!"

Ron cut in. "I'm sorry, did I miss something?"

Harry turned to look at Ginny, confused. "Malfoy and I aren't together.."

"You're not?" Ginny replied, shocked.

"Um- No.."

"What the fuck. My whole life has been a lie. Holy shit!"

Harry didn't know what to say.

"But- But what about all the flirting?"

"What flirting-"

"All the constant eye fucking-"

"Er-"

"And what about last night? Don't lie to me, Harry. I saw you guys holding hands."

Ron spit out his drink, and his eyes widened. While Neville, Dean, Seamus and Hermione, looked at Harry in shock.

"Oh my god." Said a gobsmacked Hermione, almost feeling sorry for Harry.

Ron sighed. "Bloody hell.."

"Finally!" Cheered Neville.

"Yes!" Dean grinned.

"About time." Joined Seamus while he looked at Dean. They smiled and then high fived each other.

Harry buried his face in his hands. He's already told all his friends that he's bisexual, he wasn't ashamed. He just wasn't ready for people knowing he liked Draco, but it seemed as if people already knew. The only people he hadn't told was Luna and Draco. Wait-  _ were him and Draco even friends?  _ He didn't even know, but he hoped they were. Harry had been planning on telling Luna soon, she was just so busy and he couldn't be able to find her anywhere.

"Talking about Malfoy," Ginny smirked. "Look what he's doing."

Harry looked over at the Slytherin table, searching for Draco. Once he spotted him, he tried not to laugh about how confused and focused the blonde looked.

Draco had a piece of paper in his hands, and it looked like he was trying to make some sort of shape. 

"For fucks sake." Draco groaned. "I can't do it!"

Pansy rolled her eyes at her best friend. "What is it that you're trying to do, exactly?"

"Make it into a bird."

"Why?"

"So I can send it to Potter. Blaise said it would be romantic!"

"And why are you suddenly taking Blaise's advice?"

"Well do you have any advice to give me?"

She thought for a second. "..No."

Draco continued to try and shape the piece of paper into a bird. 

"Give it here." Pansy snapped as she took the piece of paper off him.

She made it into a bird almost instantly, ignoring the amazed expression on Draco's face.

"How the fuck did you do that?"

"Shut up, Draco. Get it over with and send it to him."

Harry watched from a distance, his face flushed as he saw Draco blow the paper bird over to his direction. He took the paper in his hands.

"Well?" Ginny said impatiently. "Are you going to open it?"

Following Ginny's instruction, Harry opened the piece of paper.

_ Potter, _

_ Meet me in the room of requirement?  _

_ I need to talk to you. _

_ Well, I don't, I just want to talk to you. _

_ Whatever, same thing. _

_ Ps. How's the secret admirer thing going? _

_ — Malfoy. _

Something about Draco's handwriting looked oddly familiar, but he decided not to question it.

Harry smiled at Draco and nodded. He then looked back at his friends. "I need to go."

_

When Harry entered the room of requirement, he saw Draco sitting on a couch.

"You said you wanted to talk to me?" He asked queerly.

Draco nodded. "Yes. I- er- have something to ask you."

"I have something to ask you too."

"Oh."

"You go first?"

"No, let's say it at the same time."

"Okay."

"3.." Draco gulped.

Harry laughed slightly at Draco,  _ why did Draco look so nervous? _ "2.."

"1.."

"Do you- do you want to be friends? I mean- are we friends?" They both stuttered at the same time.

They awkwardly laughed together.

"I want to be your friend." Draco said while trying not to smile, but failed miserably.

"I'd love that." Harry replied, and stuck his hand out for Draco to shake. Just like in first year.

The boys shook hands, and Draco was surprised that he didn't faint right on the spot.  _ Merlin! I'm friends with Harry Potter.  _

"Oh, and Malfoy?" Harry said.

"Yes?" Answered Draco.

"I was wrong."

"What?"

"I can't tell the wrong sort for myself."


	11. Chapter 11

"Your pick up lines are terrible, Potter." Draco scoffed.

"No they are not!" Harry protested.

Draco glared at him vigorously.

"I have a better one. I bet this will make you laugh!"

"Go on."

"Is there a Boggart in your pants? Because your arse is Ridikkulus."

The blonde's cheeks blossomed a colour of dark scarlet, and he smacked Harry's arm repeatedly.

Harry grinned. They've been friends for nearly two months now. The boys weren't necessarily classed as close friends, but they enjoyed one another's company. After they made their truce, Draco and Harry continued to have their occasional meet ups every day when lessons ended; considering they didn't have that much time to talk to each other throughout the day.

This caused Harry to think less about the whole secret admirer situation, considering Draco had not seem to leave his mind. Draco was all Harry could think about. Harry never actually thought that he would become friends with Draco.

Harry turned to look at Draco; admiring him.

The blonde had his hair ungelled and slightly messy, just how Harry liked it. Merlin, his hair was so soft, Harry just wanted nothing more than to thread his fingers through it-

"Potter, you're staring at me-" Draco half complained blankly before Harry interrupted him.

His mind still trapped in his thoughts, Harry said probably the most embarrassing thing that you could ever say to your crush. "I like your hair better when it's messier, 's soft."

_ Fuck I wasn't meant to say that out loud. _

To say that Draco's face couldn't become any more redder was more than an understatement, the poor boy looked like a cherry.

"Oh- I- Thanks." Draco stammered.

Harry let out a nervous laugh, but that didn't stop him from admiring and daydreaming about Draco's hair. Before he could stop himself, his hand was travelling towards the soft hair of the Slytherin, but not before he made sure that Draco wasn't uncomfortable.

"M- May I?" Harry breathed nervously, but yet still politely.

Draco blinked. "..Okay."

Hesitantly, Harry's fingers travelled through Draco's hair. He was amazed that it was more fluffier and smoother than he imagined.

It reminded him of this one time when he found a cat on the edge of the road by Privet Drive. It was white, fluffy, and had bright blue eyes. He remembered that when he stroked the cat it felt like he was stroking a pillow. He also remembered that when he tried to pick the cat up, the cat meowed at him, and the next thing he knew was that the cat's claws had collided with his face.

_ Hopefully that scenario won't happen with Draco. _

But Harry's focus began to change from Draco's hair to Draco's eyes.

His eyes were strangely beautiful, but yet so rather cold. They were nowhere near emotionless, his eyes held so much emotion and it made him look even more beautiful.

Another thing Harry noticed about Draco's eyes, were the fact that they kept looking at Harry's eyes, and then his lips, and constantly kept repeating the process.

Harry only now realised that Draco had moved closer to him.

_ I want to kiss him. _

**_You shouldn't._ **

_ Why not? _

**_He doesn't like you, and he never will._ **

"We should- We should probably go to our dorms. It's getting late.." Harry said quickly, heart beating rapidly.

Draco slightly moved away, hurt and disappointment filled his eyes, and he turned to avoid Harry's intense glare. "Oh.. okay."

"I'll walk you back."

"No, it's fine, I need to talk to Snape."

Harry shrugged, not thinking much about why Draco didn't want him to walk him back, because he didn't think it was that much of a big deal anyway. He was just glad that Draco didn't scratch him in the face like that cat did.

When Harry reached his room, he grabbed a piece of parchment paper and started writing to his secret admirer.

_ Dear my secret admirer, _

_ You're not in Gryffindor? Seriously? Is that the only clue you're giving me? That's not fair! _

_ And for someone who has a crush on me, you seem to enjoy insulting me a lot. _

_ Ps. Here's a conversation starter: what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you? _

_ Mine was probably any time that I did something wrong during Potions, because that means that I embarrassed myself in front of Malfoy, and I would rather not do that. _

_ From,  _

_ Harry. _

_

_ Dear Harry, _

_ What do you mean that's not fair? That's perfectly fair, thank you very much! _

_ And for the record, I enjoy insulting everyone. _

_ How is doing something wrong in front of Malfoy embarrassing? _

_ My most embarrassing moment happened in fourth year. _

_ Someone turned me into a fucking animal. _

_ In front of everyone. _

_ How dare they think that they have the audacity to turn ME into AN ANIMAL. _

_ That was another hint by the way. _

_ Ps. Biggest fear? _

_ Spiders. I fucking hate spiders.  _

_ Love, _

_ Your secret admirer. _

_

_ Dear my secret admirer, _

_ What do you mean, how is doing something wrong in front of Malfoy embarrassing? This is MALFOY we're talking about. I could just breath in front of him and I would probably be embarrassed. _

_ You got turned into an animal? I'm sorry in advance, but that's kind of funny. _

_ Yes, how dare they think they have the audacity? Like how rude of them, am I right? _

_ What animal was it? Was I there? _

_ My biggest fear is fear itself. _

_ Ps. If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? _

_ If I'm being honest, I really don't know this one. But if I had to answer, then instead of sleeping, I would probably go to the Mirror Of Erised. I mean, I do it all the time. _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_ _ _

_ Dear Harry, _

_ Correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like someone might have a bit of a thing for Malfoy ;) _

_ And HOW DARE YOU! IT WAS NOWHERE NEAR FUNNY, YOU UNBOILED EGG! _

_ I know that's sarcasm, stop it this instant. _

_ I'm not telling you what animal it was, I thought you would have figured that out already, but I guess not. _

_ Bold of you to assume I get any sleep in the first place. _

_ But to answer your question, I would obviously wank.  _

_ I go to the Mirror Of Erised too, I like it there. _

_ Ps. What do you see in the mirror? _

_ I see you and I. _

_ Love, _

_ Your secret admirer. _

_ _ _

_ Dear my secret admirer, _

_ Oh shut up. I might have a thing for him, I might not. The world may never know. _

_ DID YOU JUST CALL ME AN UNBOILED EGG? I don't even know how to reply to that. _

_ I will never stop my sarcasm, just like you will never stop your sassiness. _

_ Stop making me feel dumb! I know i'm not as oblivious you turn me out to be. _

_ You would wank? Out of all the things to do, you choose to wank? Typical. _

_ In the Mirror Of Erised, I see the guy I like and I. We were dancing, and we were married. We looked so happy.. if only that could happen in real life.. _

_ Ps. I don't know, biggest turn on? _

_ I've always liked the thought of choking someone, is that weird? _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_ _ _

_ Dear Harry, _

_ Oh, alright ;) _

_ Yes, I did indeed, call you an unboiled egg. _

_ Oh please, sassy is my middle name. _

_ Harry, you're way too oblivious. You're so oblivious that it could probably make someone cry. _

_ Does it seriously surprise you that I said I would wank instead of sleep? I do it anyway but what were you expecting me to say? _

_ That's so weird, I saw the exact same thing when I looked into the Mirror Of Erised. _

_ I'm sure the guy you like feels the same way about you. What is there to not like? _

_ How did this conversation turn sexual? Is it because I mentioned wanking? _

_ And I'm pretty sure you've asked me a similar question like that a while ago. Oh I remember, you asked me what my sexual fantasy was, and I said being tied up. _

_ Am I allowed to say that my biggest turn on is just you in general? Because Merlin, you're hot. Like just destroy me, I don't even care. _

_ In all seriousness, definitely spanking. _

_ Oh my Merlin, I just realised how much of a whore I am. _

_ Choking isn't weird, you can choke me all you want. _

_ Ps. Who is the guy you like? Is it Malfoy? ;) _

_ Love, _

_ Your secret admirer, who now has a raging hard on, thanks a lot, cunt. _


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! i realised that in one of my chapters, i referred to draco as "blonde" and not "blond" and apparently "blonde" is the female term while "blond" is male. i had no fucking clue haha i literally just found out O_O  
> am i uneducated because of this? asking for a friend.
> 
> ALSO: i'm gonna upload another one of my fic i'm working on onto ao3. it includes slight blood/gore, does this count as "graphic descriptions of violence?" if any of you guys could teach me about ao3 warnings then it would mean a lot to me,, thanks!! hope you enjoy this chapter!! <33

Harry gulped as he read the last letter that his secret admirer had sent him.

_ 'Who is the guy you like? Is it Malfoy? ;)' _

_ Why is his secret admirer so interested in Draco? _

_ AND HOW DO THEY KNOW THAT HE LIKES DRACO? _

**_Shut up, Harry. Everyone knows you like Draco._ **

Harry considered whether he should tell his secret admirer the truth or not. 

If he told them the truth, that meant that more people would know that he likes Draco. Harry definitely didn't want that to happen, because if more people find out that he likes Draco, then that means that there's a possible chance of Draco finding out.

He didn't even want to think about that happening.

Hesitantly, Harry proceeded to write back to his secret admirer.

_ Dear my secret admirer, _

_ Half of the people in our year already know who I like, I can't risk anymore people knowing. _

_ I definitely can't risk the guy I like knowing. _

_ Sorry. _

_ Fuck. I don't even want to imagine his reaction. _

_ We've recently become friends, I would never want to destroy what we have. I would rather have this friendship with him than have nothing at all. _

_ Him and I have come a long way. _

_ I love him. _

_ I hope you're him. I've thought about you being him, but when I think logically, it just doesn't make any sense. _

_ But lucky a desperate love sick boy like me has the freedom to dream. _

_ I'm obsessed with him. I hope that doesn't sound creepy. _

_ I think he's beautiful. He is purely beautiful. _

_ And I can't help but wonder if he feels the same way about me. _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

He took a deep breath and gave the letter to Hedwig.

Following his daily routine, Harry made his way to the Mirror Of Erised.

When he arrived, he definitely didn't expect to see Draco there again.

Draco was crying, and Harry saw that he had a letter hanging out of his pocket, but thought nothing of it.

Slowly and quietly, Harry walked towards him and sat down next to him. He was sure that Draco didn't even notice his presence.

"Malfoy? Why are you crying?" Harry asked, heart aching at the sight of the boy he loves crying his eyes out, looking so heartbroken.

Draco jumped at the sound of Harry's voice, and nervously looked up at him. "W- When did you get here?"

"Just arrived. Are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Then why are you crying?"

The blond obviously lied, even though he wasn't very good at doing so. "..I'm not. It's just.. rain..."

"Malfoy."

"What?"

"We're inside. There is no rain."

"...I have something in my eye?"

"Malfoy."

"Fine! I'm crying! Just drop it, alright?!"

Harry sighed at the sudden attitude of the boy next to him and highly regretted trying to cheer Draco up.

"Do you know who your secret admirer is yet?" Draco asked, somewhat anxiously.

"No. Apparently it's obvious, and everyone knows. But why can't I figure it out?" Harry groaned.

Draco looked away from Harry.

_ How the fuck hasn't he realised it's me yet?  _

_ I have given him so many clues! _

_ Maybe it's because he's so focused on the idea of his secret admirer being the guy he likes. _

_ He probably hasn't even thought about the possibility of me being his secret admirer. _

Draco's mind drifted off to a conversation that they had months ago, when everything all started.

_ "Found out who your secret admirer is yet?" Draco asked Harry. _

_ "No.. Ron thinks that we don't get along, but then again.. I'm not sure." Harry replied while looking in deep thought, probably wondering why Draco was so interested in the topic of his secret admirer. _

_ "Why would he think that?" _

_ "I don't know." _

_ Draco remembered himself gulping nervously. "What would you do if it was someone unexpected?" _

_ Harry looked up at him, suddenly intrigued. "Unexpected as in...." _

_ "Someone like me?" _

_ Harry blinked. "That would be disgusting." _

Draco remembered how much the words stung and broke him. He promised himself he wouldn't say something stupid, but obviously that failed miserably.

Another thing he remembered from that day was Pansy hugging him tightly while repeating something on the lines of how much of a cunt she thought Harry was at that time.

_ "Right. Yeah. Gross. I'm going to class now, I'm already at least five minutes late. Bye Potter." Draco said as he quickly ran away. _

The words escaped from Draco's mouth before he could stop himself. "Do you still think it would be disgusting if I was your secret admirer?"

"What?" Harry replied, confused, and also not quite sure if he heard Draco correctly.

"You said it would be disgusting if I was your secret admirer."

"I didn't mean it-"

"Sounded like you did, looked like you did as well."

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but he wasn't quite sure what to say.

_ Surely Draco knew that I didn't mean it? _

He looked at Draco's hand, and without hesitation, Harry intertwined their hands.

"I don't think it would be disgusting. Not at all," Harry whispered. "I didn't mean it, I'm sorry."

Draco gasped, and then smiled softly.

"You're not disgusting. Nowhere near." Harry continued.

"Stoppp." Draco said, embarrassed.

"You're blushing!"

"Fuck off, I am not!"

"Yes you are!"

"I HAVE A COLD ALRIGHT!"

"Right."

"I AM NOT BLUSHING!"

"You're blushing so hard you look like Po from teletubbies."

Draco was puzzled. "Who's Po? And what in the Merlin is teletubbies?"

Trying not to laugh, Harry answered Draco's question. "Muggle thing."

"Oh."

"It's a children's show about these giant doll things with random shapes on their heads. It's kind of a boring show."

"I'd imagine so. Sounds a bit scary to me."

"I used to have nightmares about them."

"Not surprised."

Harry laughed, and attempted to drag Draco onto his feet. "Come on. Let's get some sleep."

"Can't we just sleep here? Walking all that way is too much effort for me." Draco said dramatically.

"No, we can't. Stop being a drama queen and get up."

"Oh my feelings are so hurt! Potter called me a drama queen! No! How will I ever go on?!"

Harry snorted and proceeded to drag Draco onto his feet again so he could walk him back to the Slytherin dormitories.

Soon enough, they arrived.

"Goodbye, Malfoy." Said Harry.

"Bye." Draco replied softly. He considered on doing what his brain was telling him to do, it was a good idea for sure, but he was more than nervous about receiving Harry's reaction. He soon changed his mind as Harry started to turn around to walk away. "Wait! I need to tell you something!"

Harry looked at Draco and raised his eyebrows. "Yes?"

"I like apples. Green ones, to be specific."


	13. Chapter 13

Harry sighed in peace, and wrapped his blanket around himself as he felt the warmth of the fire surrounding him in the Gryffindor common room.

_ Don't think about him. _

_ Think about something else. _

_ Just not about him. _

Everyone else was asleep, well at least he thought so, until he heard the sweet call of a voice saying his name.

"Harry?"

He turned his head, only to see a tired looking Hermione studying him with curiosity.

"Is everything alright?" She asked while placing a long strand of her bushy brown hair behind her ear.

Harry said nothing, and decided to take his focus back on the fire in front of him.

The only thing you could hear in the common room was the sound of Hermione's footsteps as she walked closer to the silent boy infront of her. She sat down next to him and examined him, feeling concerned for her friend.

"It's Draco. Isn't it?" Hermione said. Harry almost laughed at how observant and knowing she was, it was one of the very things he loved about her. Harry still didn't say anything, but Hermione was determined to be the one to change that. She called his name once more. "Harry–"

"–I'm scared." He spoke finally in a whisper.

"Why?"

"I keep thinking that Draco is my secret admirer."

Hermione raised her eyebrow. "I'm confused. I don't understand the problem here."

"The problem is– What if– What if i'm reading all the signs wrong?"

"I don't think you are."

"I love him Hermione. I don't want to get my hopes up. I really– I really do love him."

"...Oh." Hermione smiled softly, in awe. Her mind resurfaced to the memory of Pansy talking to her about how Draco says these exact same words about Harry. At the time, Hermione couldn't help but giggle about how Draco only spends his time talking, and talking, and talking about Harry. It was adorable.

Harry took a deep breath. "I couldn't handle him not loving me back. I can't loose what we have– Fuck."

"There's a ball."

"Where?"

"No– I meant I heard a rumour that the school is holding a valentine's day ball."

"No way!" Harry grinned, loving the thought of taking Draco to a valentine's day ball. He hoped that this was where Hermione was leading her conversation to.

If what Hermione was saying was true, then this meant that he only had six days to try and ask Draco to the valentine's day ball.

"Ask him. You have to!" Hermione commanded, trying her best to help Harry, as she was completely sick and tired of him not even attempting to make a move.

"Hermione..."

"No! You're doing it!" Hermione said while leaving the room. Harry couldn't help but roll his eyes at her pettiness.

When Harry walked into the great hall for dinner the day after, he was becoming slightly nervous about this ball thing. He didn't want to see Draco go with someone else, and he didn't want Draco to say no when Harry asks him– If Harry asks him.

Harry was halfway through eating when he and the rest of the students were interrupted by a letter appearing in front of them.

Carefully, Harry picked up his letter and started to read.

_ Dear Hogwarts Students, _

_ On February 14th, the school will be holding a valentine's day ball in the great hall. As many students don't like valentines day, you are not expected to go, but it would be appreciated if you do so. With those of you going, who would want to dance, you will have to find a date to attend with. _

_ — Professor Mcgonagall. _

Harry looked over at the Slytherin table, he saw Draco gazing back at him with a blush on his cheeks.

_ I really want to take him to that ball. _

He smiled at the blond and waved shyly, in which Draco blushed even more.

_ So adorable. _

_

Draco walked into the room of requirement, he figured out that Harry was already waiting there for him, sitting down on the couch.

He laid down on Harry, the back of his head resting in Harry's lap; just to purposely annoy him.

"Hi." Draco grinned, looking rather smug.

Harry laughed gently, and went down to stroke Draco's hair.

They weren't new to the 'friendly' touches that they gave each other. The boys had gotten used to showing each other their– dare I say it– affection for one another.

The topic of the ball travelled through Harry's mind again, and to say he felt shy discussing the ball was an understatement.

But thankfully– or not so thankfully– Draco was the first one to bring up the topic.

"I'm not going to the ball." Draco said rather quickly.

Hurt and Disappointed, Harry frowned. He hated the fact that his plan to ask Draco to the ball had backfired so fast.

Part of Harry, for some reason, was looking forward to asking Draco to the ball. He couldn't wait to dance with Draco. It could be a possible chance to finally confess his feelings– it would've gone perfectly.

"Oh." He replied, still frowning.

"You're going, right? Who are you taking?"

Harry frowned even more. "I– Actually I was– I was going to ask–"

_ I was going to ask you _ ; Harry wanted to say. But he realised that there was no point, considering Draco had no reason to attend that ball.

_ Draco probably doesn't want to go with me anyways. _

_ Stupid of me to think that he was my secret admirer. _

He looked at Draco and saw that the blond was waiting for him to finish what he was about to say.

"– I wasn't going to ask anyone. I'm not going."

No one said anything for a while, they calmly embraced how much they enjoyed one another's presence.

But of course, the silence couldn't last long. Heart beating fast, Draco had to ask Harry the daily question.

"Found out who your secret admirer is yet?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Harry teased.

"Are you going to answer the question or not, Potter?" Draco said.

"Answer mine first."

"Not this again!"

"You love it, really."

"I don't."

"Yes you do–"

"–Potter, just answer my question."

Harry smiled. "It's complicated."

"I love complicated," Draco smiled back. "But how is it complicated?"

"I might know who it is. I'm just scared that I'm getting my hopes up... I really like this person."

Draco exhaled nervously and closed his eyes, liking the feeling of Harry playing gently with his hair.

"Tell me about this person." Draco said after a while. He hoped that he wouldn't regret asking for the certain request, but he needed to know.

"I think they're beautiful. Their eyes– I love their eyes. I also like their hair, it's really soft. I like their petty and snarly personality too. But they're not all petty and snarly, they're just– perfect."

Draco gulped.

"I like the way they blush as if they didn't even realise it. I like the way they talk– the way they are sometimes a little shy– I–"

"You seem to like this person a lot."

"Yes." Harry smiled, looking down at the cute blond underneath him. "I do."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how's quarantine going for y'all?🥰🥰  
> i'm so bored

**[ 5 DAYS UNTIL BALL ]**

Draco sighed. He was still currently in the room of requirement with Harry, and Harry was still gently playing with his hair. But instead of lying on his lap like he was before, Draco was curled up in between Harry's legs with his head resting against his shoulder.

He looked up at Harry, nervous at how close they were. He couldn't stop thinking about how far they've come, he would never imagine himself ever being this close to Harry.

Draco heard Harry laugh softly, and smiled. "What is it?"

"You." Harry replied, admiring him.

"What about me?"

"You're so- I-"

"...Yes?.."

"Nothing. I'm just- glad you're here. I like spending time with you, you know?"

Draco blushed. Not meaning to, he looked at the Mirror Of Erised; the image of him and Harry dancing together recurred again.

_ I really want to dance with him. _

_ But he's made it clearly obvious that he isn't interested.  _

_ He's ignoring all the clues i'm giving him. _

_ I wonder who the guy he likes is. _

_ I wonder- if it's me. _

_ Could it be? _

"Potter?" Draco gulped. "Why aren't you going to the ball?"

"Well why aren't you going?"

"...I asked first."

"I asked you second!"

"I really don't want to do this again."

"Idontknowifthepersonilikewouldwanttogowithmebecauseidontknowiftheylikemeback."

Not understanding a word of what Harry just said, Draco laughed. "Repeat that for me?"

Harry frowned. "It's not funny!"

"I didn't understand what you said- say it again."

Taking a deep breath, Harry slowly repeated his words. "..The person I like wouldn't.. want to go with.. me."

Draco's eyes widened.

_ Come on. That's a fucking lie and you know it is Harry. _

_ Anyone would be willing to dance with Harry Fucking Potter. _

"That's-" Draco started, but Harry quickly cut him off.

"I know okay! It's stupid! And I can't ask them either, because i'm too much of a fucking coward! I get it! I- can we just change the subject please." Harry said while looking sad, clearly beating himself up over something he shouldn't be.

The expression on Draco's face softened even more, and was just about to tell Harry that he was nowhere near a coward, until he was distracted by Harry wrapping his arms around him, and burying his face in the crook of Draco's neck.

"I'm such a coward- A wimp- Why can't I just-" Harry complained.

"Potter." Draco said gently, turning slightly so he could face Harry, but mainly because the feeling of Harry's warm breath against his neck was making him feel  _ some sort of way _ , and Draco wasn't fond of the thought of himself having to explain to his crush on why he would've probably gotten a boner. But then again, even if he did end up developing a boner, he could easily lie, because no matter how embarrassed Draco would be in the situation, Harry would still remain oblivious.

Meanwhile, Harry was currently avoiding any chance of eye contact with Draco.

"Potter." Draco said more sternly, or at least he thought so.

Harry looked at him.

"You're not a coward. Making a move on the person you like isn't easy at all, trust me. It takes time- you're not a coward. Okay?" Draco whispered.

What Draco said was true. It does take time, a lot of it.

Draco has been trying to make a decent move on Harry for ages now, and it's hardly gotten him anywhere.

But however long it may take, Draco is forever willing to use up all that time.

For the boy who is always making him smile.

Always making him happy.

For the boy that he is madly in love with.

For Harry.

And only Harry.

"Okay." Harry said quietly. "So why aren't you going?"

"I- Same reason you're not going." Draco sighed.

"Oh.."

_ This is your chance, Harry. _

_ Your chance to figure out if these feelings you feel for him are mutual. _

"I um- I think you should ask them. You know- the person you like. I mean- you have a lot of confidence- you're really likable- you know. They would be stupid if they said no- you're great.." He stuttered.

"Oh my god." Draco said to himself in disbelief, and so quietly that Harry couldn't even hear him. "You're so oblivious."

"I didn't hear you- what did you say?"

"Nothing."

"..Alright."

Harry gulped. "What did I do? Why are you so tense?"

"Nothing. I'm just very tired." Draco lied.

"Oh- I didn't realise how late it was- I'll walk you back-"

"I can't be bothered. Let's sleep here."

"O- Okay."

With that being said, they both fell asleep about an hour later, softly wrapped in each other's arms.

_

_ Dear my secret admirer, _

_ I'm such a coward. _

_ I wanted to ask the guy I like to that valentine's day ball. But I couldn't. I missed my chance - again - I had so many opportunities. _

_ But I still have 4 days. _

_ Give me advice? How do I ask him? Or try and hint that I like him? _

_ From, _

_ Harry. _

_

_ Dear Harry, _

_ You call yourself a coward? Don't be silly Harry. _

_ It isn't the easiest thing to do - asking your crush to the ball - or trying to hint to them that you like them. Trust me, it's fucking hard, and in my opinion - for me - it's fucking pointless. _

_ But it's not pointless for you. _

_ You deserve happiness, Harry. And if this guy makes you happy, then I wouldn't give up on him. _

_ I don't think I care if it's not me anymore. I just want you to be happy. _

_ It fucking hurts, yes. But I guess it just wasn't meant to be. _

_Part of me thinks that I should give up. And don't try telling me that I shouldn't. You have given me no indication that you like me. You have either ignored or can't spot any of the hints I give you - and I give you loads. I obviously_ _don't attempt_ _flirting - because you would just think that I'm being nice._

_ I'm sorry, but if you haven't realized already, then I have to tell you how much it is upsetting me. _

_ I just want you to realise who I am.  _

_ I want you to realise that whoever the guy you like is, I hope they treat you well. _

_ Because I care about you, I will do whatever I can to try and make you ask this guy to the valentine's day ball. _

_ So yes, I will give you advice. _

_ PLAN A : Considering you are very bad at hinting to someone that you like them, (judging from your previous letters) I would suggest to try the method of FLIRTING.  _

_ If you flirt with them, and complement them, they will eventually get the hint - and maybe ask you themselves. But don't flirt CONSTANTLY, as some may find it annoying, but that's only the snobby bitches - I personally don't care. I would definitely be flattered if someone flirted with me. _

_ If you really need some, here are some TIPS for flirting: _

  * _You could use pick up lines. But try to lay off certain pick up lines as they can be cringry. If the pick up line makes you cringe, even if it's only in the slightest, I recommend NOT using it. My favourite pick up lines are cute ones, like non dirty ones. They make me blush like an idiot :)_
  * _Try to flirt through touches. I'm not sure if it counts as flirting - but I think it's really cute. Like occasional hair touches, face touches, (especially the cheeks or lips), hugging. Fuck, they all_ _destroy me._
  * _"Platonic Kisses"? Forehead kisses, cheek kisses, anything for the guy to get the hint really._
  * _Compliment them._



_ I just want you to be happy. _

_ Ps. This is going to be kind of like what I call a "Alphabet Plan". Hopefully we don't reach Z. _

_ Love, _

_ Your secret admirer. _


	15. Chapter 15

**[ 4 DAYS UNTIL BALL ]**

Harry looked around at everyone in the great hall. There was a variety of moods from people, but most people seemed to be so happy. Why are they all so happy?

_ Probably because they have the balls to ask their crush to the valentines ball. Unlike you, who is too much of a pussy that you had to ask someone for ADVICE, like really Harry? _

**_Shut up. I tried, that's all that matters._ **

_ You obviously didn't try very hard I see. And why are you telling yourself to shut up? _

**_I don't know._ **

Harry wished that he could feel how all those happy people felt.

He looked over at everyone on his table, and began to wonder if any of the Gryffindors were attending the ball.

"Ron?" Harry asked. "Are you going to the ball?"

Ron shrugged. "Probably not. I don't have anyone to ask."

Harry nodded. "How about you Hermione?"

The girl blushed slightly before smiling shyly. "..Maybe."

Shocked, Harry and Ron exchanged glances.

"Wait what? Who on earth are you going with?" Harry wondered, more than surprised.

"Her-my-oh-nee! You never tell us anything! I swear!" Ron raged.

"Don't swear Ronald." Hermione grinned smugly. "And who i'm going with is none of your business."

Harry rolled his eyes and shook his head while grinning at her slightly. He noticed that Ginny was listening closely to their conversation with her eyebrows raised cheekily.

"What?" He asked her.

"I know who she's going with. It's so obvious. But let's forget about that for a second, let's talk about  _ your _ love life shall we? Has  _ 'Saint Potter' _ asked his beloved precious Malfoy to the ball yet?" Ginny smirked.

"..No."

"No surprise there."

"Hey!" Harry protested immediately, his face showing a great look of embarrassment. "I don't see you going with anyone."

"I'm going with Luna."

"Luna?"

"Yes, Luna." 

Harry smiled. "That's great. How did you ask her?"

"How else would I ask her, Harry?" Ginny said.

"Please, Ginny. I really need help asking Draco to the ball, everything I do is such a waste of time and it fails so badly!"

"We do things differently, Harry. Which only means that my method of doing things is different to yours."

"Well what was your method?"

"I didn't plan anything. I just straight up asked her to the ball as soon as I knew about it."

"..Oh."

_

"Pansy!" Panted Harry, while shouting as loud as he could to try and get her attention.

Pansy rolled her eyes, turned around, and stopped, raising her eyebrow at the boy who looked like he was going to pass out any minute now.

"What the hell! You walk so fast!" He groaned while still catching up with her.

"What do you want, Potter?" Pansy snarled.

_ This is going to be quite difficult. _

_ I'm going to need luck with this. _

"I uh- I like- I need help with-"

"...Yes?.."

"I like Draco! And I need help asking him to the ball! There! I did it!"

Pansy's hard and annoyed sneer lightened, and she smiled widely. 

"Why are you smiling-"

"For a while i've had doubts that you liked him, for some reason. You treat him like shit."

"I don't-"

"You do. He ends up crying most nights because of you."

Harry breathed nervously, and tried to change the subject. "Does- Does he like me- Do you know if-"

"Shut up Potter!! Merlin!" Pansy shouted. "I'll give you advice, but I promise you that I will fucking smack you one if you hurt him! Do you understand?"

"Um- Yes?"

"Was that a question?"

"No! Of course not!"

"Good. Follow my lead, Potter."

_

"My secret admirer told me that I could ask the guy I like to the ball by either flirting, pick up lines, occasional touching, platonic kisses, or either complimenting them." Harry told Pansy.

"....You still don't know who your secret admirer is. Do you?" Pansy asked.

"No.." Harry said slowly. "..Should I know?"

"Yes, you should, you oblivious idiot!"

"Hey!-"

"Anyway, first we will start with pick up lines. I'm assuming you don't know any good ones?"

"Obviously not."

Unbelievingly, Pansy disapproved. "You don't know.. at least one?"

Harry shook his head. "Don't think so."

"No wonder Draco comes back crying every night."

"What?"

"What? I didn't say anything."

"Oh.. right, sorry."

Pansy held back a laugh.

"Wait I think I got one!" Harry slightly shouted enthusiastically.

"Go on then." Pansy sighed.

"You must be voldemort because I can't get you out of my head."

"..."

"So how was that one?"

"..."

"Pansy?"

"I think we should skip pick up lines.."

_

Anxiously, Harry waited for Draco in the room of requirement for one of their regular meetups yet again.

_ I hope I don't fuck this one up. _

**_Sorry to break it to you Harry, but you fuck everything up._ **

Harry sighed and buried his face in his hands. 

_ That's true. _

**_You're such a mess, Harry. Why would Draco ever want to be with you? And what makes you think that he could possibly say yes to the ball?_ **

**_He has his eyes out for someone else, remember._ **

_ "Okay." Harry remembered himself saying quietly, with his heart beating fast. He didn't want to ask the question that he had in his mind. But he was just so.. curious. After a couple minutes of arguing with himself, he found some slight confidence that made him ask the question. "So why aren't you going?" _

_ "I- Same reason you're not going." Draco sighed. Harry remembered the sad look on Draco's face. _

_ "Oh.." _

**_Remember now Harry? He doesn't like you._ **

_ B- But.. What if I'm the person he likes? _

**_You're not. Remember what Pansy said earlier today?_ **

"You treat him like shit." Pansy said while avoiding eye contact with Harry. She looked so pissed off with him, and Harry wasn't quite sure why.

"I don't-" Harry exclaimed, shocked and confused. Him and Draco were brilliant friends, why would Harry ever treat him like shit?

"You do. He ends up crying most nights because of you."

Harry remembered his eyes widening. He has never felt so confused in his entire life. Is this really how Draco felt towards him? Did Harry really make him feel so sad that he would end up crying? What could have Harry possibly done to make him feel this way?

**_You make him feel like shit. He probably hates you._ **

_ He doesn't hate me! Stop!  _

**_You know all the times you've seen him sad? That was because of you. That time you saw him crying? That was because of you._ **

"Potter?" A soft voice called, and Harry then realised it was Draco. Shaking, he turned around and ran straight towards Draco, hugging him tightly while Harry buried his face in Draco's shoulder.

"P-Potter. What's wrong?" Draco asked, trying to think of all the probabilities to why Harry was so upset.

"I'm so sorry, Malfoy. I'm so confused. I can't think properly. I didn't realise I was hurting you until Pansy told me-" Harry cried.

"Wait wait wait wait wait! Slow down! What did Pansy say?"

"She- She said that you cry because of me! Nearly every day! She also said that I treat you like shit! That's not true right? We're friends! We like each other! A lot! We always hang 'round with each other- I'm not hurting you am I Malfoy?"

"Potter-"

"Tell me!"

"Look-"

"Malfoy! Tell me-"

"YES! Okay! I'm sorry. I didn't- It's not your fault, it's mine, it's all my fault. But you are hurting me.. A lot."

Harry tried his best to wipe the tears of his face, tried his best to calm down, but none of it worked. He attempted to take a calm deep breath. "What did I do? Please tell me."

Draco looked at him. "Can we not do this now?"

"O- Okay."

Draco picked Harry up bridal style and carried him to the couch. They both layed down softly, but Harry still had Draco held warmly in his embrace.

"Whatever I did. I'm sorry. I wouldn't ever purposely try and hurt you." Harry whispered.

"I know." Draco shivered, heart beating at a rapid pace.

Not sure if it was the right time, Harry was about to do something, but hesitated. 

**_I wouldn't if I were you-_ **

_ Oh fuck off. _

Harry smiled at the boy next to him and snuggled closer to him, bringing a hand up to stroke his hair, in which Draco blushed heavily.

"Malfoy." Harry said.

"Hmm?" Draco smiled.

"I'm sorry. I really am. Even though I don't know what I did, I'm sorry."

"Potter-"

"I'm going to make it up to you."

"..Okay."

Harry then looked at Draco again, and then brought his lips close to Draco's forehead, and kissed it shyly.

"I promise. I will make it up to you."


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii guyss

**[ 3 DAYS UNTIL BALL ]**

"Look, Draco, I'm sorry. I didn't know it would upset him." Pansy apologised as she carelessly ruffled his fluffy un-styled blond hair.

Part of Pansy wanted to cry because of Harry being so oblivious, part of her wanted to scream, part of her felt like pitying him, part of her wanted to tell Harry that Draco is his secret admirer because she couldn't stand waiting any longer for the two idiots to get together, and the last part of her wanted to give him another mischievous nasty smack round his stupid face.

_ How stupid did Harry have to be? It's so obvious who his secret admirer is, and it's even more obvious that Draco has a HUGE crush on him! _

Pansy took back her previous thoughts from a couple moments ago. All parts of her wanted to slap Harry's face.

Beside her was Blaise who was fast asleep on the slytherin common room sofa, constant snores coming out of his mouth, and his arms cuddling a dark green pillow.

_ He was probably tired of Harry being oblivious 24/7. _

Pansy looked down at Draco on her lap, who was smiling at her fondly.

"I love you, Pans." He said in a soft tone.

She beamed and returned his comment. "I love you too, Dray Dray."

"I told you to stop fucking calling me that."

"Never gonna happen."

"It's gross-"

"Fine. How about Dragon?"

"NO!"

"But-"

"NO, NO, AND NO! DO YOU HEAR ME? NO!"

"Boring."

"What the fuck are you lunatics on about?" Blaise yawned. "You woke me up."

"Aw boo hoo, poor you." Pansy mocked.

"My heart breaks for you, Blaise." Draco said sarcastically, while impersonating someone dramatically fake crying.

"I'm going to my bed, going to get some sleep away from you weirdos."

"Whatever."

"No need to cry about it." Draco scoffed. He then yawned a couple moments after. "Actually I'm kind of tired too."

And with that, Draco climbed off of Pansy's lap and began to walk to his room. 

"Night, Pans." He said faintly.

"Wait, Draco!" Pansy whispered loudly.

"Huh?"

"Show me your arm."

"But i'm fine."

"Yes, but how am I supposed to know that? Show me your arm, Draco."

"Alright." He mumbled. Draco lifted up his sleeve that revealed no recent cuts on his arms, in which Pansy smiled to.

"Okay. Goodnight, Draco." She said as he was just about to enter his room.

"Night."

_

"Today we are going to evaluate our Amortentia brewing that we did a while back. Sheets are on your desk." Snape said severely.

Harry and Draco both exchanged a glance and gulped.

_ Fucks sake _ ; Thought Harry.

_ omgfuckfuckfuckomfg _ ; Draco thought.

Draco grabbed his sheet and proceeded to answer the questions.

**_What is the use of the potion 'Amortentia' ?_ **

_ Amortentia is the most powerful love potion in the world. It is rumoured to smell differently to each person according to what attracts them. _

**_List all the ingredients that you can remember from brewing Amortentia._ **

  * _Ashwinder eggs._
  * _Rose thorns._
  * _Peppermint._
  * _Moonstone._
  * _Pearl Dust_ ** _._**



**_Describe the instructions._ **

  * _Add all the ingredients listed into your cauldron._
  * _Once added, stir your mixture until steam rises from your cauldron._
  * _Your potion will be ready when you see the stream rise from your cauldron in spirals, and you will begin to spell a strong scent, according to what you are attracted to._



**_When you finished brewing Amortentia, what did you smell?_ **

  * _Black cherries._
  * _Quidditch brooms._
  * _Apples._
  * _Treacle Tart._



Draco slightly glanced at Harry's sheet, and got visibly confused when he saw Harry write down that he smelt Mint, Tart Apple, Hawthorn Wood, Vanilla, and cologne.

"Didn't you tell me that you smelt something like grass and books?" Draco asked, puzzled.

Harry froze. "I- Uh- No?"

"I'm pretty sure that's what you told me."

"Oh- well I didn't smell that- I smelt Mint, Tart Apple, Hawthorn Wood, Vanilla, and cologne."

"..Okay." Draco comprehended slowly, and then went back to answering the rest of the questions.

**_Do you think that if you brewed Amortentia again, the smell would have a chance of changing?_ **

_ For some people, then maybe. But for me, then no. _

**_Did you enjoy the process of brewing Amortentia?_ **

_ No. Not at all. _

"Malfoy." Harry said quietly. "I think I answered question two incorrectly, can you help me?"

"Okay." Draco whispered. He took a look at Harry's sheet.

**_List all the ingredients that you can remember from brewing Amortentia._ **

  * _Ashwinder eggs._
  * _Rose thorns._
  * _Moonstone._
  * _Pearl Dust_.



"You missed out the Peppermint, that's all." Draco said.

"Okay, thanks." Harry smiled.

_ Merlin, this boy will be the death of me. _

_

Harry giggled as he witnessed the sight of Draco repeatedly getting annoyed at his hair constantly flying in his face in the room of requirement.

"I give up." Draco said not so seriously, trying to sound as if he was getting emotional. "How dare my hair betray me like this?"

"You're such a drama queen, I love it." Harry laughed. "But honestly, your hair looks fine, it- it looks.. cute when it's messy." Harry began to stroke Draco's hair again, hoping that Draco wouldn't notice the fact that he was blushing like some sort of fourteen year old girl.

Draco crimsoned, much more than Harry did, and then flushed even more when he saw the way Harry was looking at him. Harry looked so... affectionate.

_ Holy fuck, I am so in love with you, Draco. _

"Malfoy." Harry spoke weakly, his heart throbbing because of how overwhelmly beautiful the boy beside him looked. But fuck, Harry wasn't at all able to keep his eyes off of him. He just wanted to admire Draco forever, to be with him. It still felt slightly weird to Harry, the fact that he has never felt this much love and emotion towards anyone before; but part of Harry has almost easily gotten used to it.

Most people found it annoying how their heart would cry when they saw the person who they adored. Strangely enough, it was the complete opposite for Harry. Harry loved it when he got that feeling every time he was around Draco, he found it unbelievably amazing how one person could make another feel so smitten and infatuated, especially without even realising it.

Harry couldn't remember a day where he hadn't thought about Draco. He still wasn't able to get his head around the fact that they were friends, the fact that Draco actually likes him, the fact that Draco likes spending time with him, the fact that they talk nearly everyday, the fact that they have gotten so close, the fact that they used to never even talked to each other in the way they do now, the fact that they used to insult each other all the time, the fact that they used to be enemies.

They came such a long way.

Never in a million years did Harry imagine himself being friends with Draco Malfoy, but he was more than glad that it did happen. Harry didn't know how he coped this long without being friends with Draco, past Harry missed out on a fucking lot.

"Potter- Stop looking at me like that." He heard Draco say shakily, but Harry didn't miss the noticeable blush on Draco's face.

"You're so beautiful." Harry said passionately, without even realising that he said it until he saw Draco's eyes widen and heard his breath hitch. Even though Harry wasn't meant to say it, that didn't mean that it wasn't true. It was true, and Harry meant it, the words came right from his heart. Draco was truly beautiful.

Draco had a happy expression on his face, and he couldn't stop blushing. He looked at Harry, who was still gazing at him so affectionately, and smiled lovingly without any hesitation.

Thinking back to what his secret admirer said, Harry pulled Draco closer to him carefully and gave the flushed boy a kiss on the cheek.

There was definitely no way that he's letting Draco go now.

No way at all.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's the chapter y'all been waiting for :p  
> ( two days until ball btw)

_Dear Harry,_

_I can't believe i'm writing to you this early in the morning. But Merlin, I am so bored, I have nothing else to do._

_Sleep? Who's that? Never heard of her before._

_Are you alright? Asked the guy you like to the ball yet?_

_Ps. I really hope I didn't wake you, I apologise if I did._

_Ps/2. Maybe if you tell me who you like I could help you more? It would be easier... but.. your choice. No pressure._

_Love,_

_Your secret admirer._

_

_Dear my secret admirer,_

_Hello. You didn't wake me by the way, I was already awake._

_And no, I haven't asked the guy I like to the ball yet. I don't know why I haven't done it, if he says no I could easily say I was joking. I just can't bring myself to actually ask him though. I've took your advice on how to hint to him that I'm interested in him, but I don't know if it's working._

_His best friend recently shouted at me, I'm still not sure why, but they seemed really angry with me. I figured out that I've done something to upset him. Is it bad to apologise to someone when you don't know what you're apologising for?_

_If i'm being honest, I think he deserves better than me, way better than me.You must see where i'm coming from.. right? I can't even ask him to the ball, I don't even know how I hurt him. I used to hate him! Full on hate him!_

_I called him disgusting. Isn't that terrible? Who am I kidding? I've hurt him so badly, all I used to do was insult him, why would he ever want to be with someone like me?_

_A while ago, I told him I wasn't going to the ball because the person I like wouldn't want to go with me. Surprisingly, he told me the same thing. I was shocked, honestly. He's a great guy, he's so amazing, how could anyone not want to go to the ball with him? If only I knew that person, I would tell them what they're missing out on._

_People always tell me to try and stay positive about my feelings? How though? How exactly am I meant to do that?_

_We had a fight, in moaning myrtle's bathroom, (this was before I realised that I was in love with him, by the way.) Well I wouldn't call it a fight, it was mainly_ _me.. being a dickhead. I don't think I told you this already, actually i'm pretty sure I haven't told you, but basically, this is what happened._

 _I had heard a boy crying in moaning myrtle's bathroom several times. Me, being the curious little shit I am, decided to investigate. So I did, indeed, investigate. I didn't know it at the time, but now I know that the sight of what I saw most definitely_ _broke my heart. It was the guy I like, he was the one that I heard crying every night. I should've comforted him, anyone who wasn't an asshole would have done so._

_For some reason, I had a natural instinct of thinking that he was up to something, something bad, something really bad. I threatened him with my wand, while he had tears streaming his face. I told him I hated him. I didn't seem to care about the fact that he couldn't stop crying, it was like I completely ignored it._

_He attempted to hex me, missing by only a couple of inches. I shot one back, not knowing where this fight would lead to, not knowing what the consequences would be, not knowing if there would be any consequences, not knowing if anyone would get terribly hurt. The fact that I didn't even think about consequences, is very stupid of me._

_So it went on, we kept carelessly aiming hexes at each other, continuously, never thinking about stopping. Suddenly, a thought came into my messed up mind, a thought that ruined and changed everything, a thought that made me never even consider me forgiving myself, never._

_The thought was about a book I found, and on one of the pages, shined the words: "spells for enemies." You can probably see where i'm going with this, and trust me, it was one of my biggest mistakes._

_I didn't even think twice before shouting the spell at him. But little did I know that it would end in him crying out for help. As soon as the spell hit him, I remember him falling on the ground with blood pouring out of him, the only sound audible was the heart aching sound of his scream. I remember collapsing on my knees to the floor beside him, shaking due to the fact that I was so shocked of what I just did._

_You probably think so differently of me now. I know for a fact that an apology won't heal his scars, but an apology, coming from my heart, is the most I can do. I can't take back what I did to him._

_Please help me, you said that you giving me advice would be easier if you knew who he was. But I don't know if I should tell you who he is or not, but right now i'm really considering it._

_He's blond. I think that's an obvious clue, right? I mean, there isn't many blonde slytherin guys in our year. Actually... there's only one. So.. i'm pretty sure you know who I like now._

_Just please help me! Please. I can't seem to ask_ _him by myself, and I don't want to lose my friendship with him. It's bad enough that I keep getting my hopes up that he's my secret admirer. But it just wouldn't make any sense for him to return my feelings, but I want to try._

_Ps. Thank you for all the help that you've given me so far. Also sorry for the big letter, I wasn't planning on writing that much, it kind of just happened._

_F̶r̶o̶m,_

_Love,_

_Harry._

_

Draco blinked in shock, and began to reread the letter. Once re reading it, he was still in shock with his eyes wide open. He read it again, and again, and again; not believing what he was reading, wondering if this was all real, wondering if this was just one of his stupid silly dreams. When he examined the letter for maybe the tenth time this morning, his pale cheeks turned a ruby colour, and he had a happy smile on his face.

_I should tell Blaise. Immediately. Like right now._

He jumped on Blaises bed and grabbed his pillow straight away, attacking him in a not so playful way, deciding to take revenge on every time Blaise woke him up like this.

"Blaiseeeee." Draco said, calling his friends name joyfully, because he couldn't wait to see Blaise's annoyed reaction. The blond giggled to himself evilily as he smacked Blaise with the pillow yet again. "Wakeyy Wakeyyy."

_Merlin, he's a deep sleeper._

_Wake up! You lazy bastard!_

"Wake! Up!" Draco groaned frustratedly, hitting Blaise with the pillow after each word. 

"Draco! What the fuck are you-" Blaise exclaimed, wondering why Draco was randomly attacking him with a pillow so early in the morning.

"Potter likes me back!! Look! Read this!"

Blaise looked at Draco with his jaw clenched, the look metaphorically screamed, 'I already knew that.'

He began to read the letter, trying not to smile. He nearly did smile, but then he remembered that Draco thought it was okay to wake him up early, only because the Potter boy returned his feelings. Blaise looked at Draco again.

"Amazing right?!" Draco grinned.

"Get some sleep, Draco." Blaise said, still annoyed at the fact that he lost his sleep.

"I can't wait to tell him I feel the same way. How do you think I should tell him? Do you think I should say something like 'hey, you're gay, i'm gay, we like each other, let's date?' Or maybe 'What's up Potter! I like you a lot and I was wondering if you'd be up for a shag-'

"GET SOME SLEEP!"


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 💞

**[ 1 DAY UNTIL BALL ]**

_

"I'm going to ask Draco to the ball today, Hermione." Harry said calmly, even though he was feeling the complete opposite.

Harry might have said this exact same thing to Hermione maybe a thousand times before, but he was more than certain that this time he was going to go through with it.

He figured out that there was no reason for him to not ask Draco to go to the ball with him. Rejection was one of the largest outcomes, but as mentioned in his recent letter to his secret admirer, if rejected, Harry could at least try and attempt to play it off as a joke.

"You said that yesterday, and the day before." Hermione sighed, and then went back to eating her dinner.

"I'll try and do it this time. I promise i'll try."

"..If you say so..."

Harry sighed due to the fact that he knew that he was going to back out on his plan sooner or later.

_ Come on, Harry. You have to ask him. This is probably the only chance you'll get to tell him how you feel. Stop worrying about your feelings for him being reciprocated. Take the chance, take the risk _ .

**_I don't want to get rejected. Asking him to the ball will only get myself hurt._ **

_ Sounds like something a complete pussy would say. Oh wait... _

**_Shut up._ **

Ignoring his argumentative thoughts in his head, he looked over at Draco who was grinning widely, and getting embarrassed because of all the other slytherins that were teasing him. Harry couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about.

"Draco, why are you still smiling?" Blaise asked in disbelief.

"I can't help it!" Draco said, while trying to put a frown on his face, and getting slightly annoyed when it only made him smile more.

"I really don't know what to do with you."

"I can't believe he likes me back, Blaise. I'm not trying to be mean but he sure does have a shit way of showing it, that's why I find it so surprising. I always imagined him getting with the weasley girl, I mean, that's what everyone thought right? I still don't know how I'm going to ask him to the ball, or tell him I feel the same way, or tell him that i'm his secret admirer. How do you think he's going to react? Oh my Merlin, what if we kiss? What if i'm a bad kisser and he doesn't like it? What if at the ball he gets angry at me for treading on his feet because I don't have that much experience in dancing? Merlin! What if-"

"Shut up, Draco."

"Alright."

"..."

"But what if-"

"NO!"

_

Draco sighed as he waited for Harry in the room of requirement, not knowing why he was so nervous, it's not like Harry would say no.

_ I just don't know how to say it. Do I tell him I like him first? And then tell him that i'm his secret admirer? And then leave asking him to the ball until last? I wonder if that's going to be too much information for him to take in. I'm still shocked that he likes me. _

_ I think i'm over thinking a little too much. But I just don't want to make a fool of myself- even though I do it all the time. _

Suddenly, Draco's eyesight was cut off and all he could see was darkness.

"Guess who?" A voice behind him said, and Draco could tell that the person was trying to hold back a laugh.

Once he recognised the voice, he rolled his eyes.

_ Harry _ .

"Hmm... I wonder who it is.." Draco smirked.

"You have one guess." The voice replied.

"..Pansy."

"Really, Malfoy?"

"I just wanted to hear your reaction. Can you get your hands off my eyes now, Potter?"

"Alright."

Harry removed his hands from Draco's face, and sat down on the couch next to him. For some reason, he thought that the boy beside him looked a bit... nervous. But he decided not to point anything out, just in case Draco didn't want to talk about it.

"How are you?" He asked.

"I'm good. How about you?" Draco replied, but Harry still felt as if he could sense some nervousness from him.

"I'm alright. I um- I really need to talk to you about something.."

_ Fuck, I can't believe i'm doing this; _ Harry Thought.

_ Oh my Merlin, is he going to do what I think he is?; _ Thought Draco.

There was a long silence as Harry fidgeted nervously with his fingers. He looked at Draco who was staring at him with curiosity.

"Potter?" Draco said. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Harry lied, and another silence began to fill the room again. 

Harry took a deep breath, anxious about what Draco was going to say.

_ Maybe I shouldn't do it.. _

**_Stop being a pussy, Harry. Fucking ask him already._ **

_ He probably isn't even gay. _

**_You won't know until you ask him._ **

"I- I really like you, Draco." Harry said shakily, regretting it already. "I understand if you don't like me back- it's fine honestly- I mean I completely understand- I used to be horrible to you. But I was- I was wondering.. if you wanted to go to the ball.. with me.."

Draco gasped in excitement and a big smile appeared on his face, not that there wasn't one there already. He glanced over at Harry who was avoiding making any eye contact with him, and Draco couldn't help but laugh. "You're an idiot, Potter."

_ Why the fuck is he laughing? _

**_Maybe it's because he doesn't like you back._ **

"Sorry- I should've known you don't like me back. This doesn't change anything between us right- please don't say it does- look i'm sorry. I just thought that- God, you're right, i'm such an idiot. How could I-"

"Harry." 

The boy's breath hitched as he heard Draco say his name, his first name. "Y- Yes?"

"Shut up." Draco said softly, so silently that you could hardly hear him.

"Okay. S- Sorry."

"I like you too, you twat. Of course I will go to the ball with you." 

Harry's eyes widened, and he looked more surprised than ever. "Really?"

"Why do you seem so surprised?" Draco laughed.

"Because I am! Do you actually like me? Oh my god, I was- I was so nervous."

"I could tell. Also.. I have one problem, about the ball."

"..What is it?"

"I don't really have that much experience with dancing."

"It's okay, I don't either."

Draco looked at Harry. "Do you want to practice?"

"Practice?" Harry blinked.

"Yeah. You know, practice dancing."

"Oh, okay."

Still smiling, Draco stood up and took Harry's hand. "May I have this dance?"

"Yes." Harry grinned as he stood up and placed his hands on Draco's hips, while Draco's arms were wrapped around his neck.

They both giggled with each other as they attempted to dance in a not so serious way, purposely "accidentally" treading on each other's feet just for the sake of it.

An hour later, Harry and Draco ended up giving up on Dancing, even though they weren't really trying anyway, and ended up lying on the couch together, with Draco complaining about how that dancing was the most exercise that he has ever done in his life.

"I can't believe you like me back." Harry whispered as he looked at Draco in admiration. Because it was true, Harry didn't even think Draco was gay, let alone ever be interested in him. He actually thought that the blond had a secret interest in Pansy, for some reason, but now Harry realised that it was nothing more than a close friendship.

"I can imagine, you're pretty oblivious." Draco sneered.

"I figured."

Draco sighed happily, but then remembered that he still hasn't told Harry that he was his secret admirer, and now seemed like the perfect time to do so.

"So.. found out who your secret admirer is yet?" He asked.

For the first time this night, Harry thought hard about who his secret admirer could be. He thought, He thought, and he thought. It wasn't until he looked back at Draco again that made him realise who the person hidden behind the letters really was.

It was Draco. Draco was his secret admirer.

There was no point denying it now, it all made sense, and Harry desperately wanted to slap himself for being so dumb. Everyone was right, Harry was indeed oblivious as fuck.

He didn't know why he hadn't realised it before, the hints given to him were so obvious. Draco was in his year, Draco was in his potions class, Draco was the one who recently became friends with Hermione, Draco liked green apples, Draco was the one who got punched in the fact by Hermione, Draco wasn't in Gryffindor, Draco got turned into a ferret in fourth year, Draco was his secret admirer.

Draco was just about to ask Harry why he was so quiet, but his thought drifted off elsewhere when he felt soft lips against his own. He began to kiss Harry back, ignoring the feeling of his heart pounding heavily as he sensed Harry's hands travel through his hair. He couldn't think of anything else other than the fact that he was kissing Harry Fucking Potter, the boy who won't fucking die, the boy who he had been writing stupid love letters to for merlin knows how long, the boy who he had cried over several times, the boy who used to hate him, the boy who is now claiming to love him.

Harry, on the other hand, was thinking the same thing.

They both had been wanting this moment for so long, and now that it was finally happening, neither of them could believe it.

Once the kiss had ended, they rested their foreheads together, panting slightly. There was a brief silence, and Harry was the first one to brake it.

"Fuck." He whispered.

"Kind of wanted to wait first." Draco joked.

"Oh shut up."

_

"Pansy!! Oh my Merlin! You will never believe what happened! He told me that he liked me, and then he asked me to the ball, I told him I liked him too and then said that I would like to go to the ball with him, and then we danced, and then I asked him if he had found out who his secret admirer is, and then he kissed me!! He kissed me Pansy!! I can't believe this has happened, I have to go and tell Blaise. Blaise!!"


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter!! i want to thank you guys so much for reading and leaving such positive comments!! <33  
> when i uploaded this fic on wattpad i felt like i was surrounded with a lot of negativity so i tried uploading on here and i feel so much more comfortable on here!!! i love u guyss <3

**[ DAY OF BALL ]**

Smiling like an idiot, Harry thought about what happened the previous night. He obviously considered the thought of it being a dream, but what dream could ever happen to be that realistic?

All he could think about was Draco, as always.

Harry decided that due to the fact that he couldn't get back to sleep, it would be a perfect opportunity to write to his secret admirer again. Who, still to Harry's surprise, happened to be Draco Malfoy.

_Dear Draco,_

_Fuck, I can't believe that last night really happened. I was re reading some of your letters, and it made me realise that I should probably apologise for making you wait so long, you know, due to me being a dense prat. So, sorry._

_My previous letter to you was about the incident in the bathroom. I hope you know that everything I said in that letter was true, and I honestly am really sorry for everything that happened that night. My intentions would never be to hurt you, and I apologise fully if you thought over wise at the time._

_I really like you. I don't want to screw this up._

_Ps. Be my boyfriend? Please?_

_Ps/2. While I was re reading your letters, I also couldn't stop thinking about the fact that you have a spanking kink, and you like being tied up. So I think you would love to know that you're not the only one with a "raging hard on." ;)_

_Love,_

_Harry, who's most definitely going to wank after this letter, so don't be surprised if you get a slightly late reply._

_

_Dear Harry,_

_You've been re reading my old letters? That's so weird, I've been re reading_ _yours too. Merlin Harry you seriously do surprise me. You don't have to apologise you twat, I could have waited ten years and I still wouldn't want an apology. But yes, you are indeed a dense prat. I'm glad you came to that_ _conclusion_.

_I know you're sorry, and it's alright. I forgive you. I really like you too, you're cute._

_Ps. Of course i'll be your boyfriend. I also don't want to sound dramatic or anything but- Oh my Merlin, I actually can't believe this is happening._

_Ps/2. Harry! I can't believe i'm admitting this but i'm honestly bright red right now. Fuck you, Harry. Also for a minute I thought you were kinkshaming me, and that's not very nice, is it?_

_Love,_

_Draco, who didn't necessarily need to know that, but I guess I could use it as a reliable piece of information if I need to in the future._

___

Draco smirked as he sat down next to Pansy at the Slytherin table. She looked at him and gave him the same odd look that she had been giving him for the past couple days or so. But Draco simply ignored her, and carried on smirking, not being able to help it.

Not so surprisingly, Pansy wasn't the only one giving him an odd look, nearly everyone was. It was as if they were waiting for him to say something which they knew too well of, and they were.

Finally, the now grinning and blushing boy spoke up. "Guess who's now Harry Potter's boyfriend?"

Blaise blinked. "..You weren't his boyfriend before?"

"..No. Or else I would've told you so."

"That's not what I meant-"

"Oh I just remembered that I didn't get to tell you what happened yesterday because I couldn't wake you up! Harry kissed me, Blaise. How awesome is that? Wait, I think Pansy probably told you actually-"

"Please stop acting like a softie. It's really hurting my ears."

"BLAISE ZABINI. I'M NOT A SOFTIE HOW DARE YOU-"

_

Harry was currently in the great hall, where the ball was taking place.

Shockingly enough for Harry, there were lots of people attending the ball - he thought that there would be way less people than there are.

"Hello, Harry." Luna greeted him in a joyful manner, with a welcoming smile on her face, slightly startling him, when did she get here? "Are you doing okay? I'm sensing some nervousness."

Harry turned around and looked at her, examining her. Luna's blonde hair was slightly more curled at the ends than it usually was, she had some of the several odd strands out of place, but that didn't make a difference - her hair style was still unique and there was a zero percent chance that anyone could describe it as messy. Her dress wasn't necessarily short but it wasn't long either, it was ivory and long sleeved with a tie up around the waist, and some small sky blue flower designs scattered across it.

He complimented her by saying she looked nice, and then told her about what happened last night with Draco. 

"It took you both some time. I'm happy for you both, Harry." She congratulated him, and then muttered something on the lines of, 'I have to go to Ginny', before kissing him on the cheek goodbye.

Harry peered around the hall, generally curious of who came with who. As he did this, his eyes came to a stop as he recognised a certain girl who had a blue long dress on and her hair bushy as always. He was just about to turn his gaze elsewhere until he noticed how she was looking so fondly at the somewhat shorter black haired girl next to her, who was wearing a cherry coloured dress that stopped at her knees. Harry grasped what it meant, and smirked wittingly. 

"Hi." Draco's shy voice from behind him said embarrassedly. Harry smiled lovingly at him and then took a moment to appreciate how pretty the blonde looked. The outfit that Draco was wearing was quite different to his, considering Harry was wearing his green dress robes. Because Draco was, well, Draco, he was obviously going to wear black. But Harry still thought he was beautiful, he always did, no matter what Draco wore. 

Not meaning to, Harry's stare dropped to look at an aspect of Draco that he most likely ended up looking at way too often, and it caused his breath to hitch. Then realising what he was doing, he looked back up at Draco, who was hopefully unaware of what just happened.

"You look great, by the way." Harry said after a while.

"Not too bad yourself." Draco almost whispered, still feeling a tiny bit embarrassed because of the fact that Harry had been checking out his arse several minutes ago.

After a couple minutes of both the boys smiling and joking around each other, a peaceful slow song came on, and Draco blushed heavily, _oh my merlin we're going to dance again oh my merlin._

Harry grabbed his boyfriend's hand and led him to the dance floor. Once they got there, they got into their positions - with Draco's arms leaning on Harry's shoulders, wrapped around his neck, and Harry's hands on Draco's small hips, which Harry adored. He didn't dare to travel his hands any lower.

They danced in a calm silence, until Draco grinned and said, "you're not treading on my feet this time."

"Fuck off, you." Harry grinned back, and pulled him into a kiss which caught Draco off guard. He tightened his grip on Draco's waist and drew him closer, accidently letting out a slight moan when Draco purposely bit on his bottom lip and dragged it backwards a little. "Draco." He groaned as he struggled to keep his hands on Draco's hips.

Draco had the audacity to fucking giggle, and Harry couldn't help but get extreamly frustrated, but he wasn't hard because thankfully, he did have some self control, even if it was only a bit. 

"I'm glad I finally have you, fuck." Harry whispered.

His boyfriend smiled. "I'm glad too, Harry."

**_fin._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [come talk to me on tumblr!!](https://qmortentia.tumblr.com)


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